Friday, September 18, 2009

Well That's A Stupid House To Rob.

Blog
* Yeah, just burn the mo-fo DOWN. I mean... no. Title is from Psych.

* I'm blogging again today, because A) Due to the internet trying to destroy me this morning, the post was rather jumbled and short, B) I made a Twitter for this blog, ergo I want to be able to Tweet stuff, and C) It's Friday (although for some reason it feels like Thursday, even though I thought it was Friday all week. Did I wander into the TARDIS at some point, and not realize it?)

WTF, INTERNET?
* Now, REALLY, people:

[Found at ToplessRobot]
Do I even need to EXPLAIN why this isn't OK? This is Cthulu perfume. So you can smell like a giant sea monster. WE ARE THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS. Hell, the looking glass has shattered under the weight of the crazy.

First off, H.P. Lovecraft would not approve. He was a crazy, tortured genius, and like I've said before if I read too much of his work in one sitting I become paranoid and try to leap out nearby windows. But COME THE HELL ON. He did not want people smelling like sea monsters. Nobody wants that. And I know some people worship Cthulu as a god. Isn't this disrespectful? Can you IMAGINE how much trouble people would get into if there was a perfume for smelling like Jesus? (And please, religious people, do NOT link me about how Cthulu and Jesus are not the same. I know this. I'm trying to prove a point. Thanks).

And I just have to say, EW. WHO, I ask you, WHO, wants to smell like a giant sea monster? Hands? Anyone? Everyone thinks, 'Oh, the ocean, it smells of saltwater and sunshine and happy!' WRONG. The ocean smells like dead fish and tourist farts and chemical waste. It smells like rotting plant matter. And, according to the description of this perfume, Cthulu smells like embalming fluid. There is no happy ending to this story. You could buy it as a gag gift, sure, but then you will forever be that creepy person at the party who smelled like a corpse and went home alone, crying softly. And when that happens, don't you go blaming Mr. Lovecraft, HE didn't tell you to get that perfume. Plus, you know, he's dead. So I doubt he cares much either way.

Movie!Win
* it makes me feel terribly unclean and hypocritical to put a Megan Fox movie in the Movie!Win category, but you know what? Jonah Hex looks fucking good.

{found at Wikimedia]
AND it's got Josh Brolin, who I think is pretty much King Prick, except for The Goonies, which is one of the best movies ever made. But I have a deep and abiding love for Westerns, and when you add a supernatural/futuristic bend, I am on board.

So I will sit through their performances, though I dislike them both. Because dammit, the world needs more Western-hybrids. And without Firefly to make me wish for a laser gun AND a lasso, Jonah Hex looks like my best bet.

Wow
* This is the most insane thing I've seen in a long, long time:

And coming from me, that means something.

Girly Shit
* I really like this shirt, even though I have no opinion whatsoever on Taylor Swift:

[Found at IHeartThat]
I like stripes. And polka dots. Which somewhat clashes with my love of steampunk and leather and thigh high boots, which in itself rather goes against my obsession with high fashion (and my unpleasant habit of watching The Devil Wears Prada repeatedly and lusting after the clothes, but I don't want to talk about that) but since I generally wear jeans and a T-shirt and Converse ANYWAY, I guess it's all the same.
And I'm not making the obvious joke here, dammit.

Music
Why am I not Lady Gaga? Apparently she is the Antichrist, or something. I don't know. I didn't read the article once I saw the line about how she is the embodiment of Lucifer because of the lightning blot symbol.
Personally, I would not be a good Antichrist. I get nervous very easily, and forget things, and tend to need someone else to kill bugs for me. But I could smite some people, sure. Who couldn't?
But is Lady Gaga really Lucifer? Somehow I think Satan would be wearing pants, yes? And not making music about clothes.
Just saying.

Technology
* I'm going to explain this product, and then ask you guys a question, OK? It's a faucet, but it doesn't require handles. Instead of turning it on or off, you rub/tap it, and the water adjusts accordingly. Cool.

[Found at TheWorldsBestEver]
Now tell me: Am I the only one who thinks that picture is a little.... eroticized? I don't want my faucets to have a sexual aspect. I have enough weirdness in my daily life.

Hunter S. Thompson
* This is a great article by Brad Kim about Jim Carroll, the late great author/poet, and of course, Dr. Thompson, Patron Saint of this Humble Blog. And David Foster Wallace. Shit, everyone cool is dead. Fetch me a Bloody Mary, I wish to grieve.

Heroes
* Heroes will return Monday (at the same time as House, but luckily I have a DVR, so no tears!) and here is a video posted by Greg Grunberg, AKA Matt Parkman, of Zachary Quinto, AKA Sylar. But due to my epic Tech Fail, I can't embed the video. So click here, and watch. It's genius.

Journalism
* This makes me sad on so many different levels.

[Found at WorldOfWonder]
I hate CNN, coyotes, Jessica Simpson, and allergies. ESPECIALLY allergies. Bastards.

I think that's enough for the moment.
- LV

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