Friday, April 10, 2009

Alan Moore Can Communicate With Dolphins.

To make up for the total lack of Watchmen geekery below this, please feel free to check out this 'You know you're a Crazed Watchmen fan if...
The ones in Bold apply to your faithful blogger. Italicized bits are my comments on things. Also, I added the last two. Also, if someone could tell me who invented this, I will credit them.

You Know You're A Crazed Watchmen Fan...
If you did it thirty-five minutes ago.
If you saw 'the handshake' as more than just a handshake.
Because it totally was.
If you wish you could multi-task like Dr. Manhattan.
If you spotted the BOYS folder the first time you saw Watchmen. And was one the only one laughing in the whole theater.
If you see Ozymandias' reasoning with the 'kill millions to save billions' idea.
If you want Rorschach's mask. Let's just leave it at 'Wanting Rorschach' shall we?
If you support Nite Owl X Rorschach. I support Rorschach X ANYONE. Except Viedt. The dick.
If you LOLed at the failed sex scene. It was so awkward, so, so awkward. And then Nite Owl goes and cries naked, in the basement, which will never stop being funny to me.
If you want Walter Kovacs/Rorschach as your pet. A pet that would totally kill you and everyone you've ever known.
If you bought a package of sugar cubes after the movie. Two. And now I'm addicted, and everyone is revolted by this quirk.
If you're a proud Watchmen fangirl. I think I qualify.
If you have the ability to turn any anime/video game/book/other character gay.
If you started talking like Rorschach after seeing the movie. As a JOKE. I WAS BEING FUNNY.
If you ever 'hurm'ed or ennk'd. It was an accident. HONEST.
If you've ever drawn fanart or written fanfiction for Watchmen.
If you think Veidt industries also manufactures purple 2x4's.
If you think Bubastis should have been red for the movie. Well, he should have. That's the only reason Alan Moore is pissed, you know.
If you noticed Ozy's suit was the only one with nipples. OK, this probably enraged Alan Moore and his beard as well.
If you started eating canned beans after the movie. I ate them BEFORE too. I just wasn't as secretly amused.
If your carry a copy a the Watchmen graphic novel with you at all times. What? I like having something to read? OK, I don't carry one with me at all times. I just always have one in my room, and compulsively reread it. But I'm keeping this bolded, because I'm too freaking lazy to go back and change it.
If you cry at the end of Watchmen every time. FOUR TIMES I SAW IT. I've read it DOZENS of times. And it's still sad. So, so sad. WHY DOES EVERYTHING I LOVE GET VAPORIZED?!
If you can write a 10 page eassy on why Rorschach is actually gay. Or why he's not a misogynist, or his literary tastes, or why he's my favorite character, or why it's his morals I admire not his values, or why his tiny gloves are so sexy, or...
If you argue daily with a friend that Adrian is gay. Because even ignoring the BOYS folder, he's gayer than the gayest gay elf that ever nanced down the pike. He's the king of GayTown.
If you get really, genuinely angry about people misunderstanding Watchmen or worse, Rorschach, on the internet. And the internet is by definition populated with stupid people, and yet it still makes me angry. YOU ARE WRONG. I DESPISE YOU AND EVERYTHING YOU STAND FOR.
If you have a Watchmen tattoo. I think this one speaks for itself.

Best. Fandom. Ever.
- LV

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