Alan Moore Invented Black. In Fact, He Invented The Entire Spectrum Of Visible Light. Except Pink. Tom Cruise Invented Pink.

Because I am having a really crap morning, this entry will be brief (but if I feel bad about shafting you all, I'll post again, later, with glorious postage). Anyway, here are links and pictures, to make you laugh/get angry, because that's what I can do right now:* Robert Downey, Jr. is almost laughably attractive as Sherlock Holmes. Seriously, he causes the giggles, like 'He can't possibly be that attractive!' Jude Law, on the other hand, looks kind of like this guy on the subway who dumped a carton of sour milk on my friend, exposed himself, and ran away laughing. True story. * Andy Hallet died. This is very sad. He was really great as Lorne on Angel, (I especially loved the episode where he plays a Puck-like narrator for the madness around him, and when we got to visit his home dimension) AND he's the second actor from that show to die at a young age, tragically. That's just fucked up. Numfar, do the dance of sorrow.* Great interview with Michael Caine about Batman, Heath Ledger, The Prestige, Chris Nolan, and Christian Bale's brainsnap.* MINUTEMEN PREQUEL HOLY EVERLOVING FUCK. PAUL GIAMATTI CANNOT BE MOTHMAN, THIS IS JUST WRONG. FAIL. However, the rest of the casting is fine. Aaron Eckhart would be good as Metropolis, and Chris Klein has that aww-shucks look needed to be Dollar Bill. And that is pretty much all I can eloquently say about that. Scroll down; it's story number 3, because if it were #1 the universe would implode. (And if you scroll down even further, you see that one failure was not enough for the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. Doesn't Alan Moore hate us all enough?)*** This is a funny Watchmen macro about Moloch that I can't post directly to my blog, for some reason.* And another, about sekrit gays of Watchmen* Ah, screw it, here's a third macro, this one about Mothman, and his fucking crazy and strap-ons.* Apparently, the world needs ANOTHER Men in Black movie. That's what society is clamoring for.* FINALLY. One of my first loves (yes, his chin and forehead are terrifying to small children, and he's kind of a dick, and he rips off other movies, move on) is releasing a movie that hopefully will not be made of suck. Now I just need to get to Cannes. ROAD TRIP. Involving a boat. And money. Um, and the spelling really bothers me profoundly. Like, when I finally see the posters I will have to be restrained, lest I grab a red Sharpie and start scribbling corrections.* Russell Brand is at the G20 protests. This makes me very happy, although I can't say exactly why. It may have something to do with his hat.* My tattoo is healing incredibly well. The first one was, for days, a scabbing, oozing, extremely painful mess. It's also a lot bigger, but I still think it wasn't supposed to OOZE BLACK CONSTANTLY FOR TWO WEEKS LIKE I WAS AN EXTRA IN AN ALIENS MOVIE. Ahem. Anyway, this one is scabbing, because that's what tattoos do, and it hurts whenever my dog JUMPS on me and scratches it, and I scream, and then get yelled at for overreacting because nobody is sensitive to MY pain, and - sorry, tangenting. Anyway, it's healing much better than the first one, and I love it, and would stare at it stupidly all day, were it not for the unavoidable fact that most people would assume I am smiling fondly at my crotch, which is not the image I am aspiring towards.* OK for now. May post later. May not. Have subbing duties tomorrow (for the first time in a while, because the magazine has needed me almost every day, meaning I have forgotten how to interact with small children) and am hoping nobody ends the day in tears/the hospital/jail/the morgue. Aim high, I always say.- LVPS Title of post is a paraphrased quote from This Website. Meaning that when I am brutally slaughtered, it will be by the ACTUAL League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, namely Alan Moore, Vin Diesel, Chuck Norris, and Mr. T. So, silver lining.** Happy belated April Fool's Day! As if Alan Moore wouldn't raise his unholy Snake Army if he thought they were making another LOEG. Or casting Paul Giamatti as Mothman. That would be almost as unforgivable.

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