Bill Gates Lives In Constant Fear That Alan Moore's PC Will Crash.
People I Dislike* Yet I sort of love this picture, because I cannot even begin to imagine the sheer dizzying intellect of their conversations. And because they are all SUCH TOOLS:[Found at Gawker]Also, I secretly sort of hoped that Blago's hair would eat Spencer. Religion* As if you needed any more proof that people from Florida are batshit, this is their new vanity license plate:[Found at Wonkette]If I found myself driving behind this car, I would ram into it. Over and over. Not because I am against religion (I am indifferent, which is much easier) but because the image is scary, and I'd need to make it go away. Depression Session* This has me filled with conflict. For, you see, once upon a time (as longtime readers of this blog would know, if there were any) I lived in New York City on ninth and third, surrounded by giant cockroaches that plotted world domination and a rat that ATE a cat, AFTER screwing it to death. Anyway, despite the fact that I was broke and starving and living in a basement apartment with no windows and INSANE, and working at Barnes & Nobles, I drank at one of these Starbucks ever day, because people kept giving my gift cards, thinking all I needed in life was a grande non-fat caramel macchiato. I hated Starbucks, and the uber-hipsters that reigned. Yet this makes me sad, because it was always a funny joke, that one Starbucks was next to the other Starbucks, and also I knew the people who worked there, and if STARBUCKS is in trouble, then it's really Game Over, Man.Tattoo Of Win[Found at LolTatz]Books* Here are the Locus Award Winners. I want a Locus. Or a book deal. Or more coffee.Food* It's official: Bacon is the most perfect food, ever. Spread the word and eat up. It cures hangovers, and makes you tall and sexy, and if you eat enough you grow wings and fly. It's on the internet, so it's true.Moment of Win [Found at FunPic]I almost feel bad for this lunatic. He must be SO TIRED at the end of every day, having to hate so many people. I'm especially puzzled by his hatred of 'Ankle Biters.' But I don't want to get close enough to ASK him. Also, I may love Random Dude Pointing At The Sign.Zombies* With the Zombie Apocalypse Swine Flu making everyone a little nutty, sometimes you just need to own an object that can stake people at a distance:[Found at CrunchGear]This thing would go great with my leather jacket and black jeans, and yes this is how I think, why can't I look good while eliminating the undead threat? No reason at all, airtight logic, now go and fetch me this.Celebrity Crush* Jackie Earle Haley, AKA Rorschach, is so effing cute in real life that it's hard to believe he so effectively played a guy who drowned midgets in toilets (or worse). Anyway, on his official website, which I may visit every day, WHAT OF IT, he talks about his inner Freddy, thanks the Rorschach fans, posts some pictures, and concludes with this:
Thanks ya’ll… okay, I’m gonna go stare at the shiny bean thing.
What loser would like Zac Efron when you could be adoring this guy? Stupid people. [Found at JackieEarleHaley]Note: He looks like Big Figure because he's taking a picture of his reflection in the Shiny Bean. He did not shrink.Politics* Jon Stewart, with his sardonic eyebrows and wisdom, is scaring the shit out of everyone else who has to appear on TV, ever. I actually get this. If Jon Stewart yelled at me the way he yelled at Bowtie-Doofus a few years ago, I would never stop crying, and would eventually drown in a sea of Tiny Tears.
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