People I Dislike
* Yet I sort of love this picture, because I cannot even begin to imagine the sheer dizzying intellect of their conversations. And because they are all SUCH TOOLS:
[Found at Gawker]
Also, I secretly sort of hoped that Blago's hair would eat Spencer.
Religion
* As if you needed any more proof that people from Florida are batshit, this is their new vanity license plate:
[Found at Wonkette]
If I found myself driving behind this car, I would ram into it. Over and over. Not because I am against religion (I am indifferent, which is much easier) but because the image is scary, and I'd need to make it go away.
Depression Session
* This has me filled with conflict. For, you see, once upon a time (as longtime readers of this blog would know, if there were any) I lived in New York City on ninth and third, surrounded by giant cockroaches that plotted world domination and a rat that ATE a cat, AFTER screwing it to death. Anyway, despite the fact that I was broke and starving and living in a basement apartment with no windows and INSANE, and working at Barnes & Nobles, I drank at one of these Starbucks ever day, because people kept giving my gift cards, thinking all I needed in life was a grande non-fat caramel macchiato. I hated Starbucks, and the uber-hipsters that reigned. Yet this makes me sad, because it was always a funny joke, that one Starbucks was next to the other Starbucks, and also I knew the people who worked there, and if STARBUCKS is in trouble, then it's really Game Over, Man.
Tattoo Of Win
[Found at LolTatz]
Books
* Here are the Locus Award Winners. I want a Locus. Or a book deal. Or more coffee.
Food
* It's official: Bacon is the most perfect food, ever. Spread the word and eat up. It cures hangovers, and makes you tall and sexy, and if you eat enough you grow wings and fly. It's on the internet, so it's true.
Moment of Win
[Found at FunPic]
I almost feel bad for this lunatic. He must be SO TIRED at the end of every day, having to hate so many people. I'm especially puzzled by his hatred of 'Ankle Biters.' But I don't want to get close enough to ASK him. Also, I may love Random Dude Pointing At The Sign.
Zombies
* With theZombie Apocalypse Swine Flu making everyone a little nutty, sometimes you just need to own an object that can stake people at a distance:
[Found at CrunchGear]
This thing would go great with my leather jacket and black jeans, and yes this is how I think, why can't I look good while eliminating the undead threat? No reason at all, airtight logic, now go and fetch me this.
Celebrity Crush
* Jackie Earle Haley, AKA Rorschach, is so effing cute in real life that it's hard to believe he so effectively played a guy who drowned midgets in toilets (or worse). Anyway, on his official website, which I may visit every day, WHAT OF IT, he talks about his inner Freddy, thanks the Rorschach fans, posts some pictures, and concludes with this:
What loser would like Zac Efron when you could be adoring this guy? Stupid people.
[Found at JackieEarleHaley]
Note: He looks like Big Figure because he's taking a picture of his reflection in the Shiny Bean. He did not shrink.
Politics
* Jon Stewart, with his sardonic eyebrows and wisdom, is scaring the shit out of everyone else who has to appear on TV, ever. I actually get this. If Jon Stewart yelled at me the way he yelled at Bowtie-Doofus a few years ago, I would never stop crying, and would eventually drown in a sea of Tiny Tears.
Comics
* Steven Grant has written a great article on the crime genre of comics, and 100 Bullets, and WHY DO I NOT HAVE A JOB LIKE THIS? OK, sorry. Just had a moment of bitter, BUT THE SMILES ARE BACK! Now I'm scared.
TwiHate
* See, if Twilight was like this, I might love it:
OK, I would still despise it, but at least it would be FUNNY and not cause quite the same level of MADNESS. Or worse, maybe it would.
Twitter
* I have tried playing the Terminator: Salvation Twitter game, and I do not get it. I am either too stupid for it, or it just sucks. Both are options. While I appreciate the effort to use Twitter as a marketing tool, the Tweets from the Resistance kind of make me wish the robots would win, which I don't think is the angle the creators are going for. OR ARE THEY?!
Movies
* You know what? Screw you, Tom Hanks. Stop this shit. Dan Brown hasn't even published the goddamn book yet, which I expect will be intellectual diarrhea and smug bullshit and manage to confuse a lot of people about things like history and religion, and I will GUESS the ending in the first chapter, even though I am famously bad at guessing endings of anything, and Tom Hanks will look old and puffy and have a bad toupee, and lose whatever goodwill remains from his under-appreciated turn in Catch Me If You Can, which I love, and Ron Howard, if I put up with all this bullshit and you DON'T make Arrested Development: The Movie, the economy will roll over and die, because HAVEN'T WE SUFFERED ENOUGH?!
Technology
* I am banned from buying this, ever. If I had an application for my imaginary iPhone that talked about all the diseases I could have, I would never get out of bed. I am the sort of person who goes, 'Hm. My toe hurts. I must have toe cancer.' Then by the end of the day I forget, because I know I don't have Toe Cancer, but WHAT IF I DID? So while all knowledge is good, in my book, maybe in this one instance, the knowledge of how your body can flip you the bird and KILL YOU might not be in my best interests.
Ads
* This is pretty clever:
[Found at AdFreak]
BMW basically pissed all over Audi, and the economy pissed on both of them, so we are all losers, except whoever thought up the BMW ad, who is a fucking genius I wish to love.
Swine Panic
* Michele Bachmann says some crazy shit about how Democratic presidents cause pandemics, which is pretty much what Rush Limbaugh already accused Obama of doing, so she's crazy AND boring, which must be hard.
Want
* I need this organizer desperately, for my desk at work:
[Found at DVICE]
I will pretend I'm a pilot for Serenity, and that Wash is still alive and that Firefly wasn't cancelled, and I will be happy. Until I get fired for spending all my time crashing my desk into the wall and screaming, 'I AM A LEAF ON THE WIND, BITCH.' Then crying because Wash was my favorite.
WTF, INTERNET?
* I just don't know, anymore:
[Found at WorldsBestEver]
On one hand, awesome. I mean, it is a wee tiny gun that you wear as jewelry, and tiny bullets are adorable AND deadly, and this could be a good emergency reserve for zombie attacks, even if you shouldn't RELY on it.
On the other hand, it's pretty ugly, and looks heavy, and I can imagine pseudo-intellectual hipsters wearing this in coffee shops and, during impassioned defenses of The Dav Vinci Code, accidentally shooting the barista. On second thought, I retract my complaints. We all need the entertainment.
Yesterday was a Good Day, because Rorschach fans are loyal and awesome, and make me happy, as I am among their numbers. I may post more images, or take a short Watchmen break and watch my numbers plummet, because it's FUNNY, only not.
Also, I reread From Hell last night, and fucking god: you read that, you never want to write anything ever again, because really, WHAT'S THE POINT?
New comics day. Keep me away from my wallet.
Have to walk to work, because I will not be able to borrow the car, because the universe hates me, or because I can't plan my life accordingly.
- LV
* Yet I sort of love this picture, because I cannot even begin to imagine the sheer dizzying intellect of their conversations. And because they are all SUCH TOOLS:
[Found at Gawker]
Also, I secretly sort of hoped that Blago's hair would eat Spencer.
Religion
* As if you needed any more proof that people from Florida are batshit, this is their new vanity license plate:
[Found at Wonkette]
If I found myself driving behind this car, I would ram into it. Over and over. Not because I am against religion (I am indifferent, which is much easier) but because the image is scary, and I'd need to make it go away.
Depression Session
* This has me filled with conflict. For, you see, once upon a time (as longtime readers of this blog would know, if there were any) I lived in New York City on ninth and third, surrounded by giant cockroaches that plotted world domination and a rat that ATE a cat, AFTER screwing it to death. Anyway, despite the fact that I was broke and starving and living in a basement apartment with no windows and INSANE, and working at Barnes & Nobles, I drank at one of these Starbucks ever day, because people kept giving my gift cards, thinking all I needed in life was a grande non-fat caramel macchiato. I hated Starbucks, and the uber-hipsters that reigned. Yet this makes me sad, because it was always a funny joke, that one Starbucks was next to the other Starbucks, and also I knew the people who worked there, and if STARBUCKS is in trouble, then it's really Game Over, Man.
Tattoo Of Win
[Found at LolTatz]
Books
* Here are the Locus Award Winners. I want a Locus. Or a book deal. Or more coffee.
Food
* It's official: Bacon is the most perfect food, ever. Spread the word and eat up. It cures hangovers, and makes you tall and sexy, and if you eat enough you grow wings and fly. It's on the internet, so it's true.
Moment of Win
[Found at FunPic]
I almost feel bad for this lunatic. He must be SO TIRED at the end of every day, having to hate so many people. I'm especially puzzled by his hatred of 'Ankle Biters.' But I don't want to get close enough to ASK him. Also, I may love Random Dude Pointing At The Sign.
Zombies
* With the
[Found at CrunchGear]
This thing would go great with my leather jacket and black jeans, and yes this is how I think, why can't I look good while eliminating the undead threat? No reason at all, airtight logic, now go and fetch me this.
Celebrity Crush
* Jackie Earle Haley, AKA Rorschach, is so effing cute in real life that it's hard to believe he so effectively played a guy who drowned midgets in toilets (or worse). Anyway, on his official website, which I may visit every day, WHAT OF IT, he talks about his inner Freddy, thanks the Rorschach fans, posts some pictures, and concludes with this:
Thanks ya’ll… okay, I’m gonna go stare at the shiny bean thing.
What loser would like Zac Efron when you could be adoring this guy? Stupid people.
[Found at JackieEarleHaley]
Note: He looks like Big Figure because he's taking a picture of his reflection in the Shiny Bean. He did not shrink.
Politics
* Jon Stewart, with his sardonic eyebrows and wisdom, is scaring the shit out of everyone else who has to appear on TV, ever. I actually get this. If Jon Stewart yelled at me the way he yelled at Bowtie-Doofus a few years ago, I would never stop crying, and would eventually drown in a sea of Tiny Tears.
Comics
* Steven Grant has written a great article on the crime genre of comics, and 100 Bullets, and WHY DO I NOT HAVE A JOB LIKE THIS? OK, sorry. Just had a moment of bitter, BUT THE SMILES ARE BACK! Now I'm scared.
TwiHate
* See, if Twilight was like this, I might love it:
OK, I would still despise it, but at least it would be FUNNY and not cause quite the same level of MADNESS. Or worse, maybe it would.
* I have tried playing the Terminator: Salvation Twitter game, and I do not get it. I am either too stupid for it, or it just sucks. Both are options. While I appreciate the effort to use Twitter as a marketing tool, the Tweets from the Resistance kind of make me wish the robots would win, which I don't think is the angle the creators are going for. OR ARE THEY?!
Movies
* You know what? Screw you, Tom Hanks. Stop this shit. Dan Brown hasn't even published the goddamn book yet, which I expect will be intellectual diarrhea and smug bullshit and manage to confuse a lot of people about things like history and religion, and I will GUESS the ending in the first chapter, even though I am famously bad at guessing endings of anything, and Tom Hanks will look old and puffy and have a bad toupee, and lose whatever goodwill remains from his under-appreciated turn in Catch Me If You Can, which I love, and Ron Howard, if I put up with all this bullshit and you DON'T make Arrested Development: The Movie, the economy will roll over and die, because HAVEN'T WE SUFFERED ENOUGH?!
Technology
* I am banned from buying this, ever. If I had an application for my imaginary iPhone that talked about all the diseases I could have, I would never get out of bed. I am the sort of person who goes, 'Hm. My toe hurts. I must have toe cancer.' Then by the end of the day I forget, because I know I don't have Toe Cancer, but WHAT IF I DID? So while all knowledge is good, in my book, maybe in this one instance, the knowledge of how your body can flip you the bird and KILL YOU might not be in my best interests.
Ads
* This is pretty clever:
[Found at AdFreak]
BMW basically pissed all over Audi, and the economy pissed on both of them, so we are all losers, except whoever thought up the BMW ad, who is a fucking genius I wish to love.
Swine Panic
* Michele Bachmann says some crazy shit about how Democratic presidents cause pandemics, which is pretty much what Rush Limbaugh already accused Obama of doing, so she's crazy AND boring, which must be hard.
Want
* I need this organizer desperately, for my desk at work:
[Found at DVICE]
I will pretend I'm a pilot for Serenity, and that Wash is still alive and that Firefly wasn't cancelled, and I will be happy. Until I get fired for spending all my time crashing my desk into the wall and screaming, 'I AM A LEAF ON THE WIND, BITCH.' Then crying because Wash was my favorite.
WTF, INTERNET?
* I just don't know, anymore:
[Found at WorldsBestEver]
On one hand, awesome. I mean, it is a wee tiny gun that you wear as jewelry, and tiny bullets are adorable AND deadly, and this could be a good emergency reserve for zombie attacks, even if you shouldn't RELY on it.
On the other hand, it's pretty ugly, and looks heavy, and I can imagine pseudo-intellectual hipsters wearing this in coffee shops and, during impassioned defenses of The Dav Vinci Code, accidentally shooting the barista. On second thought, I retract my complaints. We all need the entertainment.
Yesterday was a Good Day, because Rorschach fans are loyal and awesome, and make me happy, as I am among their numbers. I may post more images, or take a short Watchmen break and watch my numbers plummet, because it's FUNNY, only not.
Also, I reread From Hell last night, and fucking god: you read that, you never want to write anything ever again, because really, WHAT'S THE POINT?
New comics day. Keep me away from my wallet.
Have to walk to work, because I will not be able to borrow the car, because the universe hates me, or because I can't plan my life accordingly.
- LV
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