Life
* I am very happy, because I got to see one of my bestest friends after months of her being away, seeing the world and generally being awesome, but not nearby enough for me to bother her and be entertained. And now she too is stuck in the boring land of Jersey, so hooray! Well, for me, at least.
* I am so proud of my alma mater. No, not really. Just wearily amused. I probably know some of these people.
Random
* I love evil tips for undermining the soft, downy fabric of society.
Movies
* A Green Lantern Trilogy could be awesome, if they get rid of the suckish bits and make sure they get a good cast and writers who actually have read the comics, instead of former writers for Desperate Housewives or some other crap. And Terrence Howard's departure from the Iron Man franchise is still puzzling and depressing, because he was great as Rhodes, and although I adore Don Cheadle and still think he should have won an Oscar for Hotel Rwanda, he just doesn't seem like Rhodes to me. Or Black Lightning would be cool, too. DC really needs to expand the realm of superheroes, because I've never liked Superman (don't hurt me), and there are so many minor heroes that are so much more interesting. Also, Terrence Howard as a superhero is about seven different kinds of cool.
* I am really, really excited about The Brothers Bloom. The trailer looks amazing, the cast is great, and quirky caper films are terribly under appreciated in the world of cinema (I am still loving Matchstick Men and Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, which is one of the funniest crime movies ever, and if you haven't seen it your life is a sham. And OK, it's not really a caper movie at all, but I will refer to it whenever I can even loosely tie it to another topic, because it was THAT GOOD and made like no money, and that is CRIMINAL. Val Kilmer should have gotten an Oscar nomination for Gay Perry. Yeah, I said it.) Plus Adrien Brody hasn't done anything in a while, and he is always fun to watch (except in The Pianist which while brilliant, was not what I would consider fun, unless you get your jollies by weeping uncontrollably for hours on end).
* Public Enemies is going to be amazing, because of Johnny Depp and Christian Bale and Michael Mann, and I will not hear ANY NAYSAYING about it. It's Easter weekend. Have some charity. And watch the trailer over and over and...
* Sam Rockwell + Duncan Jones + The Weirdest Promo Pictures = A New Discovery Of Awesome. And the trailer is sick. Good sick. And bizarre and fabulous. I am so into this movie, there are no words. And Sam Rockwell owes me, after the trauma of Choke, which was bad forever.
Food
* This will make you throw up. Like, a lot. And then never want to reproduce, ever. This could be used as birth control that even uber-religious people would approve of. 'If you have sex, you will get pregnant and have a baby, and then you will EAT parts of the stuff that came out of you in a panini with a side of french fries.' The population will decrease, TRUST ME. And be slender, too.
Fashion
* Gywneth Paltrow sucks. And her clothes suck. And she's so full of shit she must stink when she walks down the street. And she loves herself more than any other person ever could. Her website is very funny, but I kind of doubt she intended it to be so entertaining. I still love The Royal Tenenbaums, though. And want her hair in that movie.
Music
* This alternate history of Kurt Cobain's life is, in some ways, more depressing than what actually happened. Something I always considered impossible, as the terrible suicide of a talented and disturbed person is always depressing. But this comic somehow showed that living is not always better than suicide, which is a pleasant concept to entertain on this rainy Saturday. And I don't think Dave Grohl appreciated this universe that much, either. Good comic, though.
Books
* This makes me shouty. Meghan McCain should not be writing a book. Because she is not a good writer. I have read her articles, and her blog entries, and she is simply not gifted in the way of words. That's fine; she's blonde, and very rich, and people seem to like her, and her father has power when he's not affiliating himself with insane screaming hockey moms. She has a lot to enjoy in life, and a lot to be grateful for. So WHY does she feel the need to write a book? And why is she getting paid A LOT OF MONEY to do it? This is all kinds of wrong. SHE CAN'T EVEN WRITE. Am I jealous? Probably, at least over the book deal (I am fine being a brunette whose father isn't nicknamed 'Walnuts'), but more I'm indignant. I'd rather read a book by Bristol Palin, to be honest. At least there would be some crazy shit I could laugh at.
WTF, INTERNET?
[Found at LikeCool]
* This is something that, if I encountered a person wearing it in real life, I would just ignore it. I wouldn't know what to say. I would not know the appropriate response. Do I laugh at the dead man's image? Do I get offended? Do I ask what would inspire a reportedly sane human being to walk around with such neckwear? No. I would just ignore it. It confuses me, although if someone wore it to a wedding I would probably laugh, on the inside, while I talked frantically about the weather.
* Why would you want a mouse that shocks you? And what sort of sick, evil bastard would buy this for someone else? I get it's a gag gift, but it's not funny. It's awful, in fact. I secretly hope people buy this for themselves, bring it to work, get shocked, and freak out and threaten to sue the company for an injury, and make millions. That could be fun.
* This is the freakiest baby tool I have ever seen.
[Found at CrunchGear]
A whole generation will be spawned that considers soft plush hands to be their real parents, and the large meat-sacks to be the cruel nannies that mean nothing to them. Then they'll Twitter about it, and society will collapse because all the next generation will want is to be held by large plush hands.
* This really grosses me out, more than it probably should, but WHO I ask you, WHO looks at a GUN and thinks, 'Golly, wouldn't it be nifty if I could grind up flesh with this thing?' Or, conversely, 'Gee, why can't I shoot things with this meat grinder?'
[Found at LikeCool]
These are questions we are not ready to answer, as a people.
Well, I feel like we've established that the world is a strange, sometimes frightening place. Good to know.
- LV
PS As always, title of blog taken from this site.
* I am very happy, because I got to see one of my bestest friends after months of her being away, seeing the world and generally being awesome, but not nearby enough for me to bother her and be entertained. And now she too is stuck in the boring land of Jersey, so hooray! Well, for me, at least.
* I am so proud of my alma mater. No, not really. Just wearily amused. I probably know some of these people.
Random
* I love evil tips for undermining the soft, downy fabric of society.
Movies
* A Green Lantern Trilogy could be awesome, if they get rid of the suckish bits and make sure they get a good cast and writers who actually have read the comics, instead of former writers for Desperate Housewives or some other crap. And Terrence Howard's departure from the Iron Man franchise is still puzzling and depressing, because he was great as Rhodes, and although I adore Don Cheadle and still think he should have won an Oscar for Hotel Rwanda, he just doesn't seem like Rhodes to me. Or Black Lightning would be cool, too. DC really needs to expand the realm of superheroes, because I've never liked Superman (don't hurt me), and there are so many minor heroes that are so much more interesting. Also, Terrence Howard as a superhero is about seven different kinds of cool.
* I am really, really excited about The Brothers Bloom. The trailer looks amazing, the cast is great, and quirky caper films are terribly under appreciated in the world of cinema (I am still loving Matchstick Men and Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, which is one of the funniest crime movies ever, and if you haven't seen it your life is a sham. And OK, it's not really a caper movie at all, but I will refer to it whenever I can even loosely tie it to another topic, because it was THAT GOOD and made like no money, and that is CRIMINAL. Val Kilmer should have gotten an Oscar nomination for Gay Perry. Yeah, I said it.) Plus Adrien Brody hasn't done anything in a while, and he is always fun to watch (except in The Pianist which while brilliant, was not what I would consider fun, unless you get your jollies by weeping uncontrollably for hours on end).
* Public Enemies is going to be amazing, because of Johnny Depp and Christian Bale and Michael Mann, and I will not hear ANY NAYSAYING about it. It's Easter weekend. Have some charity. And watch the trailer over and over and...
* Sam Rockwell + Duncan Jones + The Weirdest Promo Pictures = A New Discovery Of Awesome. And the trailer is sick. Good sick. And bizarre and fabulous. I am so into this movie, there are no words. And Sam Rockwell owes me, after the trauma of Choke, which was bad forever.
Food
* This will make you throw up. Like, a lot. And then never want to reproduce, ever. This could be used as birth control that even uber-religious people would approve of. 'If you have sex, you will get pregnant and have a baby, and then you will EAT parts of the stuff that came out of you in a panini with a side of french fries.' The population will decrease, TRUST ME. And be slender, too.
Fashion
* Gywneth Paltrow sucks. And her clothes suck. And she's so full of shit she must stink when she walks down the street. And she loves herself more than any other person ever could. Her website is very funny, but I kind of doubt she intended it to be so entertaining. I still love The Royal Tenenbaums, though. And want her hair in that movie.
Music
* This alternate history of Kurt Cobain's life is, in some ways, more depressing than what actually happened. Something I always considered impossible, as the terrible suicide of a talented and disturbed person is always depressing. But this comic somehow showed that living is not always better than suicide, which is a pleasant concept to entertain on this rainy Saturday. And I don't think Dave Grohl appreciated this universe that much, either. Good comic, though.
Books
* This makes me shouty. Meghan McCain should not be writing a book. Because she is not a good writer. I have read her articles, and her blog entries, and she is simply not gifted in the way of words. That's fine; she's blonde, and very rich, and people seem to like her, and her father has power when he's not affiliating himself with insane screaming hockey moms. She has a lot to enjoy in life, and a lot to be grateful for. So WHY does she feel the need to write a book? And why is she getting paid A LOT OF MONEY to do it? This is all kinds of wrong. SHE CAN'T EVEN WRITE. Am I jealous? Probably, at least over the book deal (I am fine being a brunette whose father isn't nicknamed 'Walnuts'), but more I'm indignant. I'd rather read a book by Bristol Palin, to be honest. At least there would be some crazy shit I could laugh at.
WTF, INTERNET?
[Found at LikeCool]
* This is something that, if I encountered a person wearing it in real life, I would just ignore it. I wouldn't know what to say. I would not know the appropriate response. Do I laugh at the dead man's image? Do I get offended? Do I ask what would inspire a reportedly sane human being to walk around with such neckwear? No. I would just ignore it. It confuses me, although if someone wore it to a wedding I would probably laugh, on the inside, while I talked frantically about the weather.
* Why would you want a mouse that shocks you? And what sort of sick, evil bastard would buy this for someone else? I get it's a gag gift, but it's not funny. It's awful, in fact. I secretly hope people buy this for themselves, bring it to work, get shocked, and freak out and threaten to sue the company for an injury, and make millions. That could be fun.
* This is the freakiest baby tool I have ever seen.
[Found at CrunchGear]
A whole generation will be spawned that considers soft plush hands to be their real parents, and the large meat-sacks to be the cruel nannies that mean nothing to them. Then they'll Twitter about it, and society will collapse because all the next generation will want is to be held by large plush hands.
* This really grosses me out, more than it probably should, but WHO I ask you, WHO looks at a GUN and thinks, 'Golly, wouldn't it be nifty if I could grind up flesh with this thing?' Or, conversely, 'Gee, why can't I shoot things with this meat grinder?'
[Found at LikeCool]
These are questions we are not ready to answer, as a people.
Well, I feel like we've established that the world is a strange, sometimes frightening place. Good to know.
- LV
PS As always, title of blog taken from this site.
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