Politics* Sarah Palin continues to be an idiot, but a funny one, and therefore I will continue to post stories about her. This one is really good, because you see it implies that either A) Sarah Palin really doesn't understand this whole 'technology' thing, or the idea that just maybe someone would remember what she said a short while ago, or B) she really is so nuts that she BELIEVES she never said that, and thinks it's a conspiracy by Obama or Geithner to make her look foolish. See? The internet can be used for good.* This is all the win, ever, and quite possibly the best use of sugary Peeps since me and my friend Esse put one in the microwave and it SWELLED and became a nuclear Peep, which we had to put out of its misery using our vigilante skills, which we aren't really permitted to talk about. [Found at ONTD_Political]Yes, those are Guantanamo Bay Peeps. There is also a Captain Sully Peep, and an Aretha Franklin Peep in her Magic Presidential Hat, among others, if you click on the link. These are all kinds of wrong, and I can't imagine making them, but I still sort of want to bite the heads off some of the brightly colored bunnies, because I am bizarre and like sugar a lot.* This just made me laugh for about an hour straight. Jonah Goldberg makes the heinous mistake of NOT shitting all over Obama like an infant, and he is punished. By Limbaugh, who beats him to death with a giant cigar (how many of you just had a Freudian slip, hmm?) Oh, Mr. Goldberg. You are so naive. Do not try to go against Limbaugh. You will not win. This man is drunk on the blood of liberal virgins, and has supped with victory, and you will be another notch on his belt before you can utter a single word. * Huzzah for Chuck Todd! He always looks so sad, wandering around the White House like a lost, forlorn kitten that wants only to be pet. No more, my friends - he now has his own show, and it will be everything he ever dared to dream of (mostly him making thinly veiled attacks against Meet The Press and David Gregory, which is like his Watergate. But maybe they can find someone else to be White House Correspondent, who isn't terribly sad all the time about his job. Just a thought.Want* There needs to be a category for weird shit I WANT. And here it is! Anyway, who remembers Space Invaders? You all should, because it was the best game of my childhood, and I loved it, and NOW the Japanese, in their infinite wisdom, have made a PLAYABLE SPACE INVADERS PIGGY BANK:[Found at CrunchGear]I want this. And I want it to be in America, where I could buy it with my pretend money. Why is it in Japan, and why is Japan so far away from New Jersey? Stop stealing bits of my childhood, damn it!Random* This is why no one should follow Jhonen Vasquez on Twitter. Because he posts links to things like this, and freaks me out for days on end. THINGS LIKE THIS ARE HARD TO HANDLE.Movies* Holy shit, is going to look amazing. It may be the worst movie since Catwoman, which actually causes your eyeballs to BLEED, but at least it will be pretty. Silver lining, yes? Click on the link to see the amazing dystopia, which is what the real world will look like very soon, only I doubt Christian Bale will be in charge of the New World Order, because real life isn't usually that awesome.Books*
by genius sex god Russell Brand, was a fantastic read. It was funny and sad and twisted and lovely, and I want him to write a sequel, and also come here and save me from New Jersey, and some other things I can't write about, because of libel and also I would seem creepy. Let's just say I love him an awful lot, and that his book was more than the standard memoir, and I'd especially recommend it to anyone with addictive behavior, or the only child of an over-involved parent. Go read it. Totally worth it. Plus the pictures are adorable.* Stephenie Meyer continues to haunt me at every turn with her Suck. I've said it before, but one of the main reasons I hate this franchise is because I can't get AWAY from it. You don't see me chasing people around with copies of Watchmen screaming, "LOVE NITE OWL OR I'LL SET YOUR HOUSE ON FIRE!" "WORSHIP DR. MANHATTAN LIKE THE BASTION OF PERFECTION THAT HE IS." No, because I don't give a shit if anyone else likes my fandom. So I'll leave you alone, and you leave me alone, and my awesome fandom will ignore your fandom made entirely out of The Suck. Deal? Deal.WTF, INTERNET?* This chair looks incredibly uncomfortable:[Found at LikeCool]First of all, I don't want to sit on it. Ever. You can sit on it. Because I can't even begin to figure out HOW I'm supposed to sit on it, and with my grace I'd slide off the damn thing and injure myself. And it looks like a torture device from the new Star Trek. Like, you sit in this chair and it electrocutes you while Khan laughs maniacally and Spock gets all stoic. Plus it reminds me of a dentist's office from hell, and I'm not sitting on it. * I know these are concept phones, and I do kind of want them to be real, but I also am a little scared by how smart our technology is getting. Is nobody watching the Terminator series? Is no one prepared? Look, I am ready for the zombie uprising, so can someone else PLEASE be covering the robot overloads overthrowing our way of life? I cannot multitask like that, people.[Found at LikeCool]* I totally made a joke about this at some point. I can't remember when or where, or if it was on the internet, BUT I DID. WHEN WILL THIS END? Although my idea just had holes for your arms and legs, so clearly I am a failure of the first degree:[Found at CrunchGear]You know what the next step is, don't you? A fucking wearable TENT. Yes, tiny tents you WEAR, because soon none of us will have homes so we can live in our wardrobes, and just curl up wherever we drop from exhaustion and despair. Comes with a holder for your Starbucks coffee, even though of course Starbucks will soon be a legend we tell our grandchildren, who will marvel at our wastefulness. 'Four DOLLARS for a cup of coffee? Really?' And we will bow our heads in shame, although not too low, because our entire extended families will be living in our jacket-tents, and lowering your head too far will kill everyone inside the tent. I think my joke ran away from me.
by genius sex god Russell Brand, was a fantastic read. It was funny and sad and twisted and lovely, and I want him to write a sequel, and also come here and save me from New Jersey, and some other things I can't write about, because of libel and also I would seem creepy. Let's just say I love him an awful lot, and that his book was more than the standard memoir, and I'd especially recommend it to anyone with addictive behavior, or the only child of an over-involved parent. Go read it. Totally worth it. Plus the pictures are adorable.* Stephenie Meyer continues to haunt me at every turn with her Suck. I've said it before, but one of the main reasons I hate this franchise is because I can't get AWAY from it. You don't see me chasing people around with copies of Watchmen screaming, "LOVE NITE OWL OR I'LL SET YOUR HOUSE ON FIRE!" "WORSHIP DR. MANHATTAN LIKE THE BASTION OF PERFECTION THAT HE IS." No, because I don't give a shit if anyone else likes my fandom. So I'll leave you alone, and you leave me alone, and my awesome fandom will ignore your fandom made entirely out of The Suck. Deal? Deal.WTF, INTERNET?* This chair looks incredibly uncomfortable:[Found at LikeCool]First of all, I don't want to sit on it. Ever. You can sit on it. Because I can't even begin to figure out HOW I'm supposed to sit on it, and with my grace I'd slide off the damn thing and injure myself. And it looks like a torture device from the new Star Trek. Like, you sit in this chair and it electrocutes you while Khan laughs maniacally and Spock gets all stoic. Plus it reminds me of a dentist's office from hell, and I'm not sitting on it. * I know these are concept phones, and I do kind of want them to be real, but I also am a little scared by how smart our technology is getting. Is nobody watching the Terminator series? Is no one prepared? Look, I am ready for the zombie uprising, so can someone else PLEASE be covering the robot overloads overthrowing our way of life? I cannot multitask like that, people.[Found at LikeCool]* I totally made a joke about this at some point. I can't remember when or where, or if it was on the internet, BUT I DID. WHEN WILL THIS END? Although my idea just had holes for your arms and legs, so clearly I am a failure of the first degree:[Found at CrunchGear]You know what the next step is, don't you? A fucking wearable TENT. Yes, tiny tents you WEAR, because soon none of us will have homes so we can live in our wardrobes, and just curl up wherever we drop from exhaustion and despair. Comes with a holder for your Starbucks coffee, even though of course Starbucks will soon be a legend we tell our grandchildren, who will marvel at our wastefulness. 'Four DOLLARS for a cup of coffee? Really?' And we will bow our heads in shame, although not too low, because our entire extended families will be living in our jacket-tents, and lowering your head too far will kill everyone inside the tent. I think my joke ran away from me.
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