Life
* EVERYTHING IS FINE. LET US ALL NOT PANIC AND GO ABOUT THEIR LIVES.
Doctor Who
* NOOOOOooooOOOOOOOOoooo. Etc.
People I Dislike
* As if you needed one more reason to hate Facebook, one of the backers thinks us women with our simple brains and icky lady-bits should not be allowed to vote.
TV
* We're tiny/We're toony/We're all a little Looney... This show was way too advanced for kids. It was also sometimes brilliant. But WHY is Gargoyles still not out on DVD, hmm? Because life is cruel, my friends, and the universe HATES you and thinks your pants are STUPID. Um, anyway, Tiny Tune Adventures is on DVD, and you should buy it, because it was great and reminds me of my youth.
Depression Session
* Everyone wants to save money these days, because there is none left and we are all DOOMED I tell you, DOOMED. But if you DON'T want to save money, go here, and you will see how stupid people are. Hint: Not bathing may save you money for a while, but eventually you will have to pay professionals to crack the shell of filth covering your body.
Music
* Bob Dylan is the harbinger of doom. That's cool. I saw him in concert, and when he played 'All Along The Watchtower,' it was like, 'If there is a God, he was made in Dylan's image' and I screamed at a girl for not standing up and showing him respect, but I was overwrought. His new CD is out, and I'm going to buy it, with my imaginary money (my credit card) and listen to it in my car, where I will have to live when I run out of money. And Bob Dylan predicted ALL OF IT.
Tattoo Of Win
* Did you know Hitler loved unicorns?
[Found at LOLTATZ]
And that he had a stuffed unicorn named Mr. Wickle? And that he ran all his major decisions past the unicorn? Mr. Wickle was a racist little shit.
Books
* Tim Burton has a book coming out of his drawings/doodles/art. It will be weird and sad and funny and touching, and you will love it until it is mercilessly co-opted by the asinine Hot Topic crowd and turned into T-Shirts and wristbands and bumper stickers, and then you will be forced to hate it. But will still secretly buy it online, and marvel at its awesome.
Food
* See, the problem with candy bars with company logos on them is that I don't care. It's chocolate. I make peanut butter cups every holiday season. It's not hard. It's not like using LASERS to brand meat or anything. So I am not impressed. I will eat your pathetic chocolate offerings, but I will not endorse your company.
[Found at StrangeNewProducts]
Words Of Win
[Found at FunPic]
Crazy Awesome
* Did you know sometimes actress all-time mad warrior queen Bai Ling has a blog? And she talks about things beyond my ken? Here is an excerpt.
Run to her, like the wind of sunshine and string and you will dance with the monkey and his cap.
Twitter
* Aww, the Republicans are fighting on Twitter. Is there ANYTHING less dignified than actually fighting on Twitter? I do not want to be some crotchety old internet fogey who re-remembers the message boards as bastions of rationality. Seriously, Meghan McCain and Erick Erickson fighting? As humiliating as a comments-war on MySpace.
Comics
* Good article on which comic legends are true, and which are FILTHY LIES. Did you know that when Alan Moore is displeased, Warren Ellis flays a writer from Desperate Housewives and feeds bits of them to Garth Ennis until all are sated of their bloodlust? That is TRUE. Except for the lie.
TwiHate
OH GOD MY EYES.
[Found at io9]
SO MUCH STRATEGIC PUBESCENT SHIRTLESSNESS. SO MUCH CAREFULLY STAGED 'SEXINESS' THAT LEAVES YOU COLD. SO. MUCH. NIPPLES. SO MUCH HIDEOUS SHORTS AND PHONY BACKGROUNDS. IT'S TOO MUCH. TOO MUCH. THE WEREWOLVES' NIPPLES, THEY HURT ME.
OH GOD MY EYES THEY WON'T STOP BLEEDING.
Movies
* I like X-Men comics, and I like Wolverine as a character and I like pretty much everyone involved in this production, but there are only two reasons I am going to see the movie, and they are both attached to Hugh Jackman's shoulders:
[Found at ComicBookResources]
Yep. Them's some arms. Them's GOOD ARMS. Yes. There is a reason why all the freaking X-Men movies were just prequels to this prequel. Because of those arms. Although it still doesn't explain why everything bad ever always happens to poor Cyclops, or why Rogue was so annoying.
WTF, INTERNET?
* This was originally under the heading 'Technology,' but let's not kid ourselves: This shit is FUCKED right the hell UP.
[Found at DVICE]
Here's what it is: You lie in bed, while your partner/wife/husband/boyfriend/girlfriend/sikrit luvah lies in another bed/hotel/prison cell far away. You yearn for them. So you put on your Special ring, and using technology I do not understand at all that involves a projector, you can see where they are lying in their bed, and they can see where you are lying on yours, using LIGHTS, and then you draw LIGHT-touches on where their body would be, if you weren't TERRIBLY ALONE, and the LIGHTS tell you how hard they're touching you and you CARESS the light and then you FUCK THE LIGHT.
This is NOT OK. This is masturbating with a Lite Brite. GOD.
Light does not like you that way. I'm sorry.
- LV
PS Now I miss my Lite-Brite. NOT IN THAT WAY. Perverts, all of you.
* EVERYTHING IS FINE. LET US ALL NOT PANIC AND GO ABOUT THEIR LIVES.
Doctor Who
* NOOOOOooooOOOOOOOOoooo. Etc.
People I Dislike
* As if you needed one more reason to hate Facebook, one of the backers thinks us women with our simple brains and icky lady-bits should not be allowed to vote.
TV
* We're tiny/We're toony/We're all a little Looney... This show was way too advanced for kids. It was also sometimes brilliant. But WHY is Gargoyles still not out on DVD, hmm? Because life is cruel, my friends, and the universe HATES you and thinks your pants are STUPID. Um, anyway, Tiny Tune Adventures is on DVD, and you should buy it, because it was great and reminds me of my youth.
Depression Session
* Everyone wants to save money these days, because there is none left and we are all DOOMED I tell you, DOOMED. But if you DON'T want to save money, go here, and you will see how stupid people are. Hint: Not bathing may save you money for a while, but eventually you will have to pay professionals to crack the shell of filth covering your body.
Music
* Bob Dylan is the harbinger of doom. That's cool. I saw him in concert, and when he played 'All Along The Watchtower,' it was like, 'If there is a God, he was made in Dylan's image' and I screamed at a girl for not standing up and showing him respect, but I was overwrought. His new CD is out, and I'm going to buy it, with my imaginary money (my credit card) and listen to it in my car, where I will have to live when I run out of money. And Bob Dylan predicted ALL OF IT.
Tattoo Of Win
* Did you know Hitler loved unicorns?
[Found at LOLTATZ]
And that he had a stuffed unicorn named Mr. Wickle? And that he ran all his major decisions past the unicorn? Mr. Wickle was a racist little shit.
Books
* Tim Burton has a book coming out of his drawings/doodles/art. It will be weird and sad and funny and touching, and you will love it until it is mercilessly co-opted by the asinine Hot Topic crowd and turned into T-Shirts and wristbands and bumper stickers, and then you will be forced to hate it. But will still secretly buy it online, and marvel at its awesome.
Food
* See, the problem with candy bars with company logos on them is that I don't care. It's chocolate. I make peanut butter cups every holiday season. It's not hard. It's not like using LASERS to brand meat or anything. So I am not impressed. I will eat your pathetic chocolate offerings, but I will not endorse your company.
[Found at StrangeNewProducts]
Words Of Win
[Found at FunPic]
Crazy Awesome
* Did you know sometimes actress all-time mad warrior queen Bai Ling has a blog? And she talks about things beyond my ken? Here is an excerpt.
Naked, the nakedness that you can not see, the nakedness that you can almost feel, feel on the other side of the screen floating the nakedness that is you and your flame of thoughts, color and romance, want to be free, on the cliff, almost fall......
Run to her, like the wind of sunshine and string and you will dance with the monkey and his cap.
* Aww, the Republicans are fighting on Twitter. Is there ANYTHING less dignified than actually fighting on Twitter? I do not want to be some crotchety old internet fogey who re-remembers the message boards as bastions of rationality. Seriously, Meghan McCain and Erick Erickson fighting? As humiliating as a comments-war on MySpace.
Comics
* Good article on which comic legends are true, and which are FILTHY LIES. Did you know that when Alan Moore is displeased, Warren Ellis flays a writer from Desperate Housewives and feeds bits of them to Garth Ennis until all are sated of their bloodlust? That is TRUE. Except for the lie.
TwiHate
OH GOD MY EYES.
[Found at io9]
SO MUCH STRATEGIC PUBESCENT SHIRTLESSNESS. SO MUCH CAREFULLY STAGED 'SEXINESS' THAT LEAVES YOU COLD. SO. MUCH. NIPPLES. SO MUCH HIDEOUS SHORTS AND PHONY BACKGROUNDS. IT'S TOO MUCH. TOO MUCH. THE WEREWOLVES' NIPPLES, THEY HURT ME.
OH GOD MY EYES THEY WON'T STOP BLEEDING.
Movies
* I like X-Men comics, and I like Wolverine as a character and I like pretty much everyone involved in this production, but there are only two reasons I am going to see the movie, and they are both attached to Hugh Jackman's shoulders:
[Found at ComicBookResources]
Yep. Them's some arms. Them's GOOD ARMS. Yes. There is a reason why all the freaking X-Men movies were just prequels to this prequel. Because of those arms. Although it still doesn't explain why everything bad ever always happens to poor Cyclops, or why Rogue was so annoying.
WTF, INTERNET?
* This was originally under the heading 'Technology,' but let's not kid ourselves: This shit is FUCKED right the hell UP.
[Found at DVICE]
Here's what it is: You lie in bed, while your partner/wife/husband/boyfriend/girlfriend/sikrit luvah lies in another bed/hotel/prison cell far away. You yearn for them. So you put on your Special ring, and using technology I do not understand at all that involves a projector, you can see where they are lying in their bed, and they can see where you are lying on yours, using LIGHTS, and then you draw LIGHT-touches on where their body would be, if you weren't TERRIBLY ALONE, and the LIGHTS tell you how hard they're touching you and you CARESS the light and then you FUCK THE LIGHT.
This is NOT OK. This is masturbating with a Lite Brite. GOD.
Light does not like you that way. I'm sorry.
- LV
PS Now I miss my Lite-Brite. NOT IN THAT WAY. Perverts, all of you.
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