I slept, and life may in fact be worth living. So let's get down to it, as in my absence AWESOME things have happened.
Watchmen
MTV sucks, but sometimes they unleash Russell Brand onto the world, who makes the Jonas Brothers cry because his profound AWESOME overwhelms even them, so you know, I let it go. But you should still all go vote for Watchmen, which is nominated for everything, and while I don't think it can beat The Movie Of Dazzling Suck, I want Jackie Earle Haley to be goddamn NOMINATED, so go vote, or you'll have to hear me yell about it for months, and NOBODY wants that, do they?
Politics
* Texas Governor Rick Perry knows nothing about politics, except for the Tenth Amendment, which he has tattooed somewhere on his body. Little does he know that Chuck Norris, who wants to be President of Texas, will be roundhousing him to death for thinking that Rick Perry runs Texas, when we all know that Chuck Norris runs whatever the hell he wants.
Comics
* Since clearly I am rather fond of Alan Moore, here's an article on the newest League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen, which will hopefully be a bit better than Black Dossier, not that it was BAD, just not very good. Also, do you ever feel like Alan Moore needs someone to grab him by the shoulders and be all, 'Dude: Calm down. You are a genius, and you have a huge beard. You have NOTHING to prove'? Not me, though. I ain't going up against a real wizard.
Movies
* Here is a picture of Johnny Depp filming The Rum Diary in a blue car. I want the car, with Johnny Depp as a handy accessory:
[Found at Gawker]
It's Johnny Depp playing a character based on Hunter S. Thompson, in the only novel Thompson wrote. I don't need a reason to post such wonders. Oh, and if I get a third tattoo (not that I'm thinking about it....) at some point, it will almost definitely be Thompson related. Because he was a genius. A crazy, drug-using, gun-toting, head-shaving genius.
I Do Not Care For Nature
* Bedbugs are like the most horrifying things, ever, and I lived with someone who had them (and did not get the pestilence myself, luckily), and they look like Big Ticks, and I am not a fan of ticks, so this is some of the worst news ever, about a bedbug infestation, and therefore I am pretending it didn't happen, and that this whole sentence is nothing but a horrible nightmare. I'm not even posting a picture, because it might make me scream/cry/throw up, and I have work today.
Technology
* As someone who grew up in the nineties, and had that old computer connection where it SCREAMED when you logged on, and disconnected for no reason, and was generally a little bitch, it's somewhat funny that spam is destroying the world. Remember when we first started getting spam? I was a kid, so my response would be, 'Wow, I won a million dollars from a guy who wants to give me a pet goat? Cool! Hey, Dad? What's your pin number?'
Want
* This is the coolest clock ever that also does not frighten me/make me worry that technology is getting out of hand. I'd like ten please, in assorted colors and sizes:
[Found at LikeCool]
In retrospect, that sounded dirty. But when you flip the clock, the time zone changes! That's COOL! Huzzah for people who are easily amused, like me!
Zombies
* Here's a good article on your zombie contingency plan. And why it sucks, and you will die horribly. Happy Friday!
WTF, INTERNET?!
* I know people who would buy this. Seriously. They would buy this, and use it, and be so goddamn pretentious and insufferable that they would soon be beaten and shoved off their little grass wheel. I like to imagine these things getting stuck in subway entrances, or drunk environmentalists running over pedestrians, and covering the ground with leaflets (made from, like, recycled magazines, or something equally sensitive):
[Found at Geekologie]
Also, the guy in the picture looks like a tool, and is wearing the same sort of sandals my ex-boyfriend used to wear, and has a messenger bag (and not an ironic one, either, or a cool one), and I desperately want to run over and push the wheel down, and LAUGH at his pain, because I am a bad person, but not bad enough to walk around in goddamn grass wheel.
* You can't BUY this (although I wish I could), but this is as WTF as it can get. I mean, this is Seth Green. Seth Green, one of the loves of my teenage life (I was an emotional WHORE as a teenager, with many life-loves. Nothing like that now), who charmed us all in Can't Hardly Wait, and Buffy and Robot Chicken and Family Guy, and It, among others. He is so cute. Look at him. Look at those eyes, and that HAIR, and that smile. Look at him, and be 'dawwed' by his cute. He is awesome.
He's AWESOME and cute and adorable, and he seems like a spectacularly funny and mellow guy, and yes I still would totally go for him, what of it?!
But first he needs to explain this:
[Found at GoFugYourself]
Oh, Seth, no. This is not OK. This will never be OK. Oh, no. You now look a little bit like my old roommate's boyfriend, who liked to get stoned and then sit in my room in the dark and watch me sleep, which would be creepy if ANYONE did it. And you are much cuter than he was, and also not a moron, so this look really needs to change.
And you have red hair! Which is the sexiest hair color, ever, the end. WHY DID YOU DO THIS THING?! IT IS NOT OK. Clearly, he needs a strong and mature girlfriend to steer him away from such bad life choices. I'll do that. For America. I am so selfless.
* I am without words. It's like, 'Of COURSE someone invented this product. Of course they did. And people will spend money on it. Of course. I can be surprised no longer.' I really want this candy to taste like, I don't know, stale blood and abstinence, and long lonely nights playing 'Cry Cry Masturbate Cry,' the favorite game of all vampires who can rip a girl in half with sex:
[Found at io9]
This isn't even LOOSELY affiliated with the books! There was no candy in those books! NO CANDY AT ALL.
OK, time for work. Per usual.
- LV
Watchmen
MTV sucks, but sometimes they unleash Russell Brand onto the world, who makes the Jonas Brothers cry because his profound AWESOME overwhelms even them, so you know, I let it go. But you should still all go vote for Watchmen, which is nominated for everything, and while I don't think it can beat The Movie Of Dazzling Suck, I want Jackie Earle Haley to be goddamn NOMINATED, so go vote, or you'll have to hear me yell about it for months, and NOBODY wants that, do they?
Politics
* Texas Governor Rick Perry knows nothing about politics, except for the Tenth Amendment, which he has tattooed somewhere on his body. Little does he know that Chuck Norris, who wants to be President of Texas, will be roundhousing him to death for thinking that Rick Perry runs Texas, when we all know that Chuck Norris runs whatever the hell he wants.
Comics
* Since clearly I am rather fond of Alan Moore, here's an article on the newest League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen, which will hopefully be a bit better than Black Dossier, not that it was BAD, just not very good. Also, do you ever feel like Alan Moore needs someone to grab him by the shoulders and be all, 'Dude: Calm down. You are a genius, and you have a huge beard. You have NOTHING to prove'? Not me, though. I ain't going up against a real wizard.
Movies
* Here is a picture of Johnny Depp filming The Rum Diary in a blue car. I want the car, with Johnny Depp as a handy accessory:
[Found at Gawker]
It's Johnny Depp playing a character based on Hunter S. Thompson, in the only novel Thompson wrote. I don't need a reason to post such wonders. Oh, and if I get a third tattoo (not that I'm thinking about it....) at some point, it will almost definitely be Thompson related. Because he was a genius. A crazy, drug-using, gun-toting, head-shaving genius.
I Do Not Care For Nature
* Bedbugs are like the most horrifying things, ever, and I lived with someone who had them (and did not get the pestilence myself, luckily), and they look like Big Ticks, and I am not a fan of ticks, so this is some of the worst news ever, about a bedbug infestation, and therefore I am pretending it didn't happen, and that this whole sentence is nothing but a horrible nightmare. I'm not even posting a picture, because it might make me scream/cry/throw up, and I have work today.
Technology
* As someone who grew up in the nineties, and had that old computer connection where it SCREAMED when you logged on, and disconnected for no reason, and was generally a little bitch, it's somewhat funny that spam is destroying the world. Remember when we first started getting spam? I was a kid, so my response would be, 'Wow, I won a million dollars from a guy who wants to give me a pet goat? Cool! Hey, Dad? What's your pin number?'
Want
* This is the coolest clock ever that also does not frighten me/make me worry that technology is getting out of hand. I'd like ten please, in assorted colors and sizes:
[Found at LikeCool]
In retrospect, that sounded dirty. But when you flip the clock, the time zone changes! That's COOL! Huzzah for people who are easily amused, like me!
Zombies
* Here's a good article on your zombie contingency plan. And why it sucks, and you will die horribly. Happy Friday!
WTF, INTERNET?!
* I know people who would buy this. Seriously. They would buy this, and use it, and be so goddamn pretentious and insufferable that they would soon be beaten and shoved off their little grass wheel. I like to imagine these things getting stuck in subway entrances, or drunk environmentalists running over pedestrians, and covering the ground with leaflets (made from, like, recycled magazines, or something equally sensitive):
[Found at Geekologie]
Also, the guy in the picture looks like a tool, and is wearing the same sort of sandals my ex-boyfriend used to wear, and has a messenger bag (and not an ironic one, either, or a cool one), and I desperately want to run over and push the wheel down, and LAUGH at his pain, because I am a bad person, but not bad enough to walk around in goddamn grass wheel.
* You can't BUY this (although I wish I could), but this is as WTF as it can get. I mean, this is Seth Green. Seth Green, one of the loves of my teenage life (I was an emotional WHORE as a teenager, with many life-loves. Nothing like that now), who charmed us all in Can't Hardly Wait, and Buffy and Robot Chicken and Family Guy, and It, among others. He is so cute. Look at him. Look at those eyes, and that HAIR, and that smile. Look at him, and be 'dawwed' by his cute. He is awesome.
He's AWESOME and cute and adorable, and he seems like a spectacularly funny and mellow guy, and yes I still would totally go for him, what of it?!
But first he needs to explain this:
[Found at GoFugYourself]
Oh, Seth, no. This is not OK. This will never be OK. Oh, no. You now look a little bit like my old roommate's boyfriend, who liked to get stoned and then sit in my room in the dark and watch me sleep, which would be creepy if ANYONE did it. And you are much cuter than he was, and also not a moron, so this look really needs to change.
And you have red hair! Which is the sexiest hair color, ever, the end. WHY DID YOU DO THIS THING?! IT IS NOT OK. Clearly, he needs a strong and mature girlfriend to steer him away from such bad life choices. I'll do that. For America. I am so selfless.
* I am without words. It's like, 'Of COURSE someone invented this product. Of course they did. And people will spend money on it. Of course. I can be surprised no longer.' I really want this candy to taste like, I don't know, stale blood and abstinence, and long lonely nights playing 'Cry Cry Masturbate Cry,' the favorite game of all vampires who can rip a girl in half with sex:
[Found at io9]
This isn't even LOOSELY affiliated with the books! There was no candy in those books! NO CANDY AT ALL.
OK, time for work. Per usual.
- LV
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