People I Dislike* OK, I need to know where this woman gets her clothes:[Found at Gawker]Because either she has a designer who's making this stuff, and that person needs to be stopped, or there are stores that actually sell shit like this, and they need to be fire-bombed.Moment of Win[Found at FunPic]How much you want to be these guys are from New Jersey? How much?Depression Session* When all our houses are reclaimed, and we have nowhere to go, we will all live in these:[Found at LikeCool]These are all fun and games until you get struck by lightning. Of course, these don't really work if you have family or children. But let's face it: by the time you're living out of an Instant House, you'll have eaten everyone you know, for protein.* Pretty soon, everywhere you go will look like this PhotoShopped image:[Found at BoingBoing]Only you need to imagine everyone wandering the streets in their Instant Housing, cursing either Republicans/Socialists, depending on where you stood before the world ended.Girly Shit* At the risk of sounding even creepier than usual, I want EVERYTHING in this girl's bag:[Found at NubbyTwiglet]I also want the bag, and her wardrobe, and pretty much everything on this website. That was my Girly Moment. We now return to my usual Geekery.Tattoo Of Win* This made me throw up in my mouth:[Found at LolTatz]And yet, I almost wish I'd been there when this person was explaining this idea to their tattoo artist: 'OK, I want a tampon. But not any tampon, oh no. I want a Bloody Tampon, and I want it to be flying. Yes, I want a Flying, Bloody Tampon on me, for always. Why is everyone staring?'Books* Jon Ronson, author of Them: Adventures With Extremists, is a wonderful author. I read this book in college, and adored it. And now he's writing Science Fiction scripts, and I think he'll make the transition well. In the meantime, go pick up
, because seriously, old white men are crazy bastards.* If you've been reading this blog since the beginning, you know at one point I was an intern at a Big Publishing Company that is now no doubt Crumbling in the Wake of the Internet. Although my adventures there are diverse and demented, at one point I was working with author Dean Koontz on a project. He was very nice, and actually his humor writing was far and away better than his psuedo-Stephen King crap. But ANY criticism sent him off sulking in his Owl Basement for days, and apparently at some point he emerged with this book clutched in his sweaty hands. I wish the guy the best, and I think his blog entries were pretty hilarious, actually. But seriously, dude needs to calm down.Food* These are hot dogs stuffed with spaghetti:[Found at WorldOfWonder]I am kind of obsessed with finding out how they got the noodles in the hot dogs. Not obsessed enough to EAT this crap, but enough that if anyone knows, please email me. It's haunting my dreams.Spam Mail* Cracked: Taking one of life's greatest irritants and mining it for comedy gold!Zombies* I don't know why this is on a humor site. Everyone should have one of these things:see more pwn and owned picturesIn fact, they should design these for cars and other mobile locations, so you are never without protection from the inevitable undead apocalypse.TwiHate[Found at Amazon]Now I hate everyone. If I saw someone with this umbrella, I'd start screaming. No words. Because you know they're thinking, 'Their perfect and flawless love is keeping the rain off of my head! If only I could find a totally boring, unwashed control-freak to boss me around and not have sex with me, my life would be perfect! Edward, my life is yours! Who must die to please you? Oh, crap, the sun's coming out. WAIT. I shall use this umbrella to keep the sun off my face, thus becoming as pale and wan as Edward. We are so alike. I'm misunderstood. Why is that girl running at me with a flame-thrower'Comics* I really enjoyed part one of Gaiman's Batman. The mini stories are awesome. Alfred as the Joker will keep me up at nights. * Loved volume one of
. Wish I'd picked up the second volume, but comics are not given to me for free, even with my charm. Luckily, it's all online, and free, and amazing, so go read it. Also, I'm testing a theory. Karl is my favorite character. Ergo, something horrible will happen to him immediately, and I will be bereft. (At this point, because I've been busy and I FAIL, I have only read book one.)WTF, INTERNET?* OK, even I will admit that this is pretty freaking sweet, and I would not be upset if someone purchased it for me:[Found at CrunchGear]But this still gets a WTF, because really, who looks at purse and longs for it to have more Super Nintendo? That being said, if these things were mass-produced, society would crumble. I would pay good money to see the fashionistas at my school mumbling to themselves on the subway as they try to figure out Super Mario Bros.* In case you dislike the idea of your shower curtain crushing the life from you as you try to wake up in the morning, here's one that will stab you, which is obviously far better an option:[Found at Geeokologie]Yeah, you know what? I don't want to have to worry about getting murdered/raped every time I take a shower. I have enough stress in my life without wondering if I will end up dead/deeply disturbed just to get clean. It is NOT worth it. When did conserving water become a blood-bath? You know how you can conserve water? Take a shorter shower. You still get clean, learn how to manage your time, and nobody dies/gets sexually molested by a shower curtain! Wins all around.Anyway, don't these people know that soon nobody will have homes with running water anymore? I doubt Instant Housing has a built-in shower. Times are tough.Later today will be Part I of my insane Rorschach post. Stay tuned! Or your shower curtain will attack. Apparently this is a huge problem in some circles.- LV
, because seriously, old white men are crazy bastards.* If you've been reading this blog since the beginning, you know at one point I was an intern at a Big Publishing Company that is now no doubt Crumbling in the Wake of the Internet. Although my adventures there are diverse and demented, at one point I was working with author Dean Koontz on a project. He was very nice, and actually his humor writing was far and away better than his psuedo-Stephen King crap. But ANY criticism sent him off sulking in his Owl Basement for days, and apparently at some point he emerged with this book clutched in his sweaty hands. I wish the guy the best, and I think his blog entries were pretty hilarious, actually. But seriously, dude needs to calm down.Food* These are hot dogs stuffed with spaghetti:[Found at WorldOfWonder]I am kind of obsessed with finding out how they got the noodles in the hot dogs. Not obsessed enough to EAT this crap, but enough that if anyone knows, please email me. It's haunting my dreams.Spam Mail* Cracked: Taking one of life's greatest irritants and mining it for comedy gold!Zombies* I don't know why this is on a humor site. Everyone should have one of these things:see more pwn and owned picturesIn fact, they should design these for cars and other mobile locations, so you are never without protection from the inevitable undead apocalypse.TwiHate[Found at Amazon]Now I hate everyone. If I saw someone with this umbrella, I'd start screaming. No words. Because you know they're thinking, 'Their perfect and flawless love is keeping the rain off of my head! If only I could find a totally boring, unwashed control-freak to boss me around and not have sex with me, my life would be perfect! Edward, my life is yours! Who must die to please you? Oh, crap, the sun's coming out. WAIT. I shall use this umbrella to keep the sun off my face, thus becoming as pale and wan as Edward. We are so alike. I'm misunderstood. Why is that girl running at me with a flame-thrower'Comics* I really enjoyed part one of Gaiman's Batman. The mini stories are awesome. Alfred as the Joker will keep me up at nights. * Loved volume one of
. Wish I'd picked up the second volume, but comics are not given to me for free, even with my charm. Luckily, it's all online, and free, and amazing, so go read it. Also, I'm testing a theory. Karl is my favorite character. Ergo, something horrible will happen to him immediately, and I will be bereft. (At this point, because I've been busy and I FAIL, I have only read book one.)WTF, INTERNET?* OK, even I will admit that this is pretty freaking sweet, and I would not be upset if someone purchased it for me:[Found at CrunchGear]But this still gets a WTF, because really, who looks at purse and longs for it to have more Super Nintendo? That being said, if these things were mass-produced, society would crumble. I would pay good money to see the fashionistas at my school mumbling to themselves on the subway as they try to figure out Super Mario Bros.* In case you dislike the idea of your shower curtain crushing the life from you as you try to wake up in the morning, here's one that will stab you, which is obviously far better an option:[Found at Geeokologie]Yeah, you know what? I don't want to have to worry about getting murdered/raped every time I take a shower. I have enough stress in my life without wondering if I will end up dead/deeply disturbed just to get clean. It is NOT worth it. When did conserving water become a blood-bath? You know how you can conserve water? Take a shorter shower. You still get clean, learn how to manage your time, and nobody dies/gets sexually molested by a shower curtain! Wins all around.Anyway, don't these people know that soon nobody will have homes with running water anymore? I doubt Instant Housing has a built-in shower. Times are tough.Later today will be Part I of my insane Rorschach post. Stay tuned! Or your shower curtain will attack. Apparently this is a huge problem in some circles.- LV
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