Saturday, April 4, 2009

When Alan Moore Deletes Files From His Computer, He Doesn't Send Them To The Recycle Bin. He Sends Them To Hell

OK, I didn't post again yesterday, because I am a bad person. Not really, I just had real life, which has a nasty habit of getting in the way of blogging.

* Monsters Vs. Aliens in 3D was a totally entertaining way to spend a cold, rainy evening. 3D is pretty freaking incredible. I've never seen one before. And the voice talents of Hugh Laurie, Seth Rogen, Will Arnett, Paul Rudd, Kiefer Sutherland, and PRESIDENT Stephen Colbert, is kind of life-changing. I'm not sure how the movie would hold up without the nifty 3D element (the story itself was sort of nowhere, albeit the one-liners were very funny, and B.O.B. is doomed to have his own crappy spin-off, he was so hysterical). AND how can you not love an affectionate, playful homage to all those wonderful, crappy horror movies from times past? Anyway, I enjoyed myself.

* NOW my tattoo is sore. But I still love it. I FORGIVE IT. STOP ITCHING. GAH.

* The Guardian, AKA Giver Of All That Is Good And Pure In The World, has this wonderful piece on the history of internet memes. I still remember, fondly, 'Leave Britney Alone!' mainly for Seth Green's spoof, because I still love Seth Green. TEAM GREEN.

* I don't usually link to Perez Hilton, because frankly he doesn't need any goddamn help getting hits, and he seems to spend most of his time doodling on celebrity's pictures and getting excited about Zach Efron and the Twilight dude, which is something I can't get behind under ANY circumstances. However, this is indeed a rather hilarious picture, and the caption makes it even better, so I'll let it slide this one time.

* Now, I have a much younger brother, so I have seen 'Avatar: The Last Airbender.' It's a surprisingly good show, with complicated characters, well-written plots, and a lot of heavy subtext going on. I'd never call myself a fan, having only sat through a few episodes while babysitting, but my heart still goes out to the loyal fans, who must be having massive anxiety attacks over the fact that M. Night 'PLANTS ARE GOING TO KILL US ALL' Shyamalan is writing and directing the live-action feature film. The set looks pretty cool, but that should not allay ANYONE'S FEARS. BE AFRAID. And, more disturbingly, the guy who wrote this article seems willing to defend The Happening (which will go down in history as one of the worst movies in the history of life in this, or indeed any, universe). Times are tense, guys.

* Am going to find Computer Headsets if it KILLS me (my searches for ANYTHING in New Jersey usually result in hysteria, and fruitlessness, because New Jersey has no natural resources, and no import/export business, and we all live off of Scrapple and coffee and Tab and frozen foods, so when the zombie apocalypse comes it will be a goddamn walk in the park for us, and I am PREPARED- Um, yes, Right. I need a computer headset to talk on Skype, because while my computer does indeed have a speaker, I also have nosy parents who DO NOT respect the privacy of anyone except themselves, so a headset will help. Plus, headsets are effing cool.

* Wonkette looks at all the cartoons, so you don't have to. And I don't, either. GET IT? CARTOONS?! HAHAHA, ehhh I need a lot more coffee

* This is one comic I was looking forward to, for nostalgia among other reasons (like a life-long crush on Corey Feldman, no matter how weird and creepy he insists on being in real life), and I'm still fairly bitter it turned out to be fairly suckish. I could have a better comic. The artwork is good, though. So I GUESS there's that.

* I get very frustrated with comics, the way I do with books, because there are too many to read, and I get overwhelmed with wanting to read ALL OF THEM RIGHT NOW, and I can't exactly afford this addiction at the moment, or ever, so I stay away from my local comic shop, which is anyway a very creepy place, as my friend Arre will attest. In this part of Jersey, heterosexual females who read comics are still a rare, nay mythical breed, and the patrons of said comic store tend to stare in wonderment, or propose marriage. Which is funny for exactly 8.6 seconds, before it becomes unsettling, and you want to be left alone.

* THANK YOU, FOR POINTING OUT THAT 'GARGOYLES' IS STILL BARELY OUT ON DVD, AND THAT IS LEVEL TEN BULLSHIT WHO THE HELL MAKES THESE DECISIONS?! THE SAME PERSON WHO WAS ALL, 'LET'S MAKE A CINDERELLA 3 AND A GODDAMN SEQUEL TO BAMBI. Anyway, this article discusses why this show, and others such as Dexter's Laboraory and Betty Boop still aren't on DVD. Weird, yes?

* I do not care that the new Wolverine movie got leaked. I won't try to download it, because that is Wrong, and also I want to see Hugh Jackman's rippling pectorals on the big screen, because I am a LADY, damn it. But I don't care. It's not Watchmen, and therefore is irrelevant. Apparently, however, Fox cares a great deal, and now the FBI is going to skullfuck some poor, chubby hacker who wanted nothing more than to see Wolverine eviscerate people in the comfort of his parent's basement. I could never be a hacker. My computer skills are limited to blogging. That is it. Anything beyond that reduces me to panic, and tears of failure.

* First-graders cry at the drop of a hat. Not because of me - I was told repeatedly that I was the second-best substitute they'd ever had (the first being the one that FELL ASLEEP for several hours, leaving them to their own sinister, seven-year-old devices) - but because of such things as popcorn spilling, the lunch being hot dogs and NOT marshmallow tacos (I don't understand, either), Guess Who? (a game great enough to make the strongest of men weep), and Addition Bingo. First graders - almost like real people, but not quite.

OK, I think this post was long enough and rambling enough to make up for yesterday's weak entry. Today I have to run errands and do LSAT studying, and buy my headset, and hot glue gun sticks (for a project, which I will post, although horrifyingly it has NOTHING to do with Watchmen, which I'm sure has traumatized at least a FEW of my loyal readers), and also watch Marley & Me with my little brother, because he has been begging me. I really don't want to, because A) I hate Jennifer Anniston more than makes sense, B) I hate Owen Wilson for sinking to such levels of suckage, and C) I'm terribly worried that I will actually cry at the end, because I am a famous weeper when it comes to movies. JENNIFER ANNISTON DOES NOT GET MY TEARS.
- LV

PS The title of this post makes me laugh.

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