Because it's Saturday, and nice out, and I want to post tons of geeky Watchmen shit, and I don't need to justify myself to YOU. Plus, I really need to organize all my Watchmen links, which are seriously taking over my Bookmarks page.Watchmen* So even though this is definitely NOT Jackie Earle Haley doing the voice of Rorschach, I enjoyed this stupid game very much. Also, the dialogue does sound a lot like Rorschach, and it talks about his fedora, and that makes me happy. Plus I figured it out without any help, which means I'm smarter than everyone, ever. Plus when you win you can download exclusive videos and pictures. So yay.* Rorschach Fangirls. We are amassing, and we are terrifying in our devotion. Here's a podcast that mentions us, and our awesome powers.* The official site to the movie, although it foolishly keeps linking me to Nite Owl II, when my allegiance is CLEARLY to other, shorter, less clean vigilantes.* If I was honest, I would just give these people my bank account number and be done with it. And I know it's rather dorky to be in your twenties and STILL so into this shit butA) I really don't careB) I usually do not have popular fandoms, because I don't usually get into something until after it's been out for a while, and I notice it, or years after it's been cancelled, or it's so weird/obscure no one else LIKES it, so the fact that something I've loved for YEARS has merchandise fills me with crazy glee, and I am HAPPY DAMN IT.If you loved me, you'd buy me this stuff. All of it. I still want the Rorschach bag, but as my family and friends have told me several times, once you get the tattoo, you're pretty much done, forever.* This site has tons of applications for iPhone (which I do not have but WANT, for no other reason than so I can balance uneven shelves and have Watchmen apps, although my phone's background is 'The End Is Nigh' sign, and my ringtone is 'The Times They Are A Changin', so I'm doing the best I can without an iPhone) and widgets like the one on this blog, and a TV player, and just a shitload of goodies.* The best site ever for our favorite fear-mongering, vigilante-murdering (accidentally), T-Shirt ruining newspaper. I just love supplemental material. * It is so, so good that my Sims 2 disc broke. So good, for so many reasons, but especially because this would end my life in the real world, and I would become a crazy cat lady without the benefit of cats, and just yell at the computer for days. He even has a little cleaver! And DAW. And Laurie looks vaguely alarmed, even in Sim form! I love people, I really do. Those of you (un)lucky enough to have Sims 2 can go here for more Simgasms.* These are poems that remind people of Watchmen. It's a great post, although I stubbornly maintain that 'The Second Coming' by W.B. Yeats is an excellent reference point, and covers almost all of the characters in one genius swoop. Plus I just love that poem so very much, and think it's the bees knees. This is why Watchmen is the best fandom ever, because we have:- Superhero sex- Pirates- Naked Blue Men- Tiny Vigilantes- Owls Crying in the Basement- Comedians Raping The Shit Out Of Everyone- Philosophy- Poetry- Bob Dylan- John Cale- Megalomaniacs with Big Mutant Cats- Squid, Sometimes- A High Priest With A Huge Beard Who Will Destroy Us All For Misinterpreting His Work* This article is actually pretty douchey, and too smug for my taste, but some of these lines were so funny that I am posting them anyway, because. 100 Things You Learned From Watchmen:- If you don't automatically shout "WHAT THE HELL?!" when you see Dr. Manhattan's penis, you're a closet homosexual and should remedy the situation by voicing your displeasure to the entire audience surrounding you, immediately.- If you see someone disintegrating your friend into nothingness, yell out NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO long after he's been disintegrated.- If in prison, do not pledge allegiance to the midget.- If you ask Rorschach for his autograph, he will ask "Do you want fries with that?" in a not-so-nice way.- The smartest man in the world uses the dumbest computer password.- Rorschach has real deep morals that he cannot compromise even in the face of armageddon (he can't even tell a lie), but he can break someones fingers to find out if they did/know something or not, and he can hatchet people in the head- Doc Manhattan can control all matter. He can turn a napkin into a diamond, but he cannot turn a blown-up human body back into a non blown-up body- The only way for someone like Nixon to stay in office is for everyone else to be shot by a guy with a smiley face pin.- Don't hold a glass if Rorschach is looking at you.- Ignore notes left in the fridge. Maybe they won't do anything.- Never trust Rorschach with your dog.- Having the ability to see your past, present, and future apparently has no effect when you step onto a Talk Show set.- Rorschach's M.O. is to investigate and then use deductive reasoning in order to systematically track his opposition down, corner them, and possibly maim/torture/kill them. Night Owl's M.O. is to use his technology and moral code to uphold the law and save people rather than punish them. The Comedian's M.O. is to earn his paycheck as bloodily as he can. Hooded Justice's M.O. is to walk in on a rape sequence, stare for a few critical seconds, scream "YOU BASTARD!" then proceed to beat someone until they utter an absurd phrase which he will actually stop mid-beating to think on.- Beans cause impotence. Or madness. Or mad impotence. Or fuel Archie's flamethrower.- Owls can't fly in the snow. Except Snow Owls. Um, nevermind.- If by some chance you're in a cafeteria and happen to end up next in line to a masked man with moving black and white shapes on his face, by all means make snide remarks at him. I'm pretty sure he will just laugh it off and walk away.- If a psychopathic killer is following you, the best way of escaping is by hiding in a small enclosed area with only one exit (such as a bathroom).- If someone is sitting in a dark room perfectly still, facing the opposite way and staring at nothing in particular, by all means assume that this is normal and that there is nothing wrong with that person.- Zack Snyder probably lives his entire life in slow motion.- The tears of terrified children are a great aphrodisiac.- Don't fuck with short people.* And, to end what will no doubt be a regular feature, because I have literally HUNDREDS of these links, and I certainly cannot be the only one still crazy in love with this stuff, here is a comic that made me actually laugh, out loud, alone in my kitchen, because Dan's face at the end is all sorts of batshit:I did not make this, and I am glad, because I am scared enough as it is.In conclusion, I have the best fandom ever. If you have any good Watchmen links/requests/comments/Jackie Earle Haley's address/ Email me at elle.veev@gmail.com, or veeandloathing@gmail.com. Submit your drawings/comics/macros (I LOVE macros), arts and crafts, whatever. If it's got ANYTHING to do with Watchmen, I'll post it. Also, I AM going to do another quotes series (divided up by character, with the different versions of movie and comic), because I like doing such things, and also because there really needs to be a comprehensive place to get all the quotes from both sources. Or something.- LV
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