Wednesday, April 1, 2009

The Popular Videogame "Doom" Is Based Loosely Around The Time Satan Borrowed Two Bucks From Alan Moore And Forgot To Pay Him Back

In honor of yesterday, which was amazing, (I'll explain later in this post), I will be taking facts from this site and rewording them to apply to Alan Moore (usually just by replacing the names) until I run out of quotes, or lose interest, whichever comes first.

And now, the usual blatherings:

* Did you hear about the dude who got arrested for driving his barstool? And then crashing his barstool? And being very drunk while driving said barstool (before crashing it)? This is why I love America. Exactly this. I wipe a tear from my cheek in honor of my country. This is not sarcasm - I don't want to live in a world without such entertaining folks.

Here is the Barstool: . I want one. I will drive it to work every day, and flip the bird to other drivers, and blow the MINDS of the cops in my town

* Speaking of things and people that make me love America, Blago and his hair are plotting again. I love Blago. I do. We are in tough times. The world could end in 2012, North Korea has a rocket, global warming, overpopulation, the recession, etc. Terror is at level 10. Imagine how much harder life would be if we couldn't laugh at Blago and his thick mane of sneaky locks. Also, points for referencing Blues Brothers in your evil plots. Good on you.

* And shit like this makes me HATE my country, a little bit. If you're going to be an offensive, ignorant racist bitch, at least learn to freaking SPELL. Now I have to be all, 'She's horrible and racist and I hate her and SHE CAN'T EVEN SPELL 'BUTT.' WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?!'

* I think, perhaps more than Watchmen, this movie is required to be seen in IMAX. Tim Burton. Alice. BE EXCITED. Even though we've got to wait roughly 11 months, which is mean.

* Funniest Wonkette post of the week. Spread the word.

* I am not going to see this movie, and frankly I'm a bit alarmed that James Marsters is involved at all. GOOD GOD, MAN. Unless you are a clothes-horse of the first degree, or a crack addict, there is NO REASON you need to be in this movie. NONE. I won't hear your excuses. You sicken me. I expect better from you.

* So how about that Obama - screw it. I just want to post pictures. I got my Rorschach tattoo. I have a Watchmen tattoo. And I love it desperately, and it makes me really happy.

* Now, before I get all squealy about it, I want to explain my reasoning a bit, because some people rolled their eyes and gave me a rather contemptuous look when I told them about my tattoo.

Yes, I love the comic. Yes, I love the character of Rorschach. But I got this tattoo more for what it (and Rorschach) stood for. Not the character's opinions or quirks, (I'm not a homophobic/anti-woman hobo vigilante, to my knowledge, although I do eat sugar cubes) but for his ideals.

He never compromised. He believed in something, and he fought for it, and never wavered in his belief, and was willing to do whatever it took to maintain those beliefs. Even when it would have been easier to give in and roll over, like everyone else, he stood fast, because it was right, and because sometimes that's what you have to do. He never doubted himself, and he made his own morals. Then he stood by them, without fear or regret. And as someone who has, throughout their life, been wracked with self-doubt, anxiety, and the tendency to bend to others' wills, I feel that this is something to remember. Not to be inflexible, but to be true to yourself and the things that are important to you, regardless of what others might say or think. Be who you are, without compromise or apology. Hold fast to your ideals (not politics or opinions, but ideals), and aspire for a better world.

OK, enough of my philosophizing (I tend to get very introspective when I get tattoos, apparently). Also, my friend pointed out the humor that the character of Rorschach would have enormous problems with my tattoo because, A) He doesn't seem like a tattoo kind of guy, and B) It's on a GIRL OH NOES. I too find this funny.

So here are the pictures:
It only took forty minutes, and didn't hurt very much, which I was pleased about. My first tattoo had some moments where I wanted to yell. Plus, my artist was brilliant. He copied the image perfectly (which was itself copied and blown up from the book by an Internet Patron Saint).


I love it, (at the moment it's scabby and hurting). It was funny. I was literally handing over the design to get the tattoo done, and my boss called with a small emergency and asked me to come in to work. So I got my tattoo, then had to go straight into the office and fix some computer issues. My employers were amused. So was I, really.


All my tattoos.


When I showed him the image I wanted, my tattoo artist's first question was, 'Should I straighten it out?' There were not enough letters in the word 'no' to express how 'no' my answer was, but I kept myself in check and just told him I wanted the image exactly, only not pixellated.


Done by Tom at Another Tattoo Shop in New Jersey. Highly recommended (obviously).

And a minimum of squealing like an ass. I'm really growing as a human being. I'm also done with tattoos, for at least a few years. I'm waiting five. Because I don't want to become a compulsive tattooer. I lack the personality for it.

And to all of you who voted that I not get this tattoo, FAIL. MASSIVE FAIL. But I love you anyway, for reading my blog.
- LV

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