Blog
* Well, 'Watchmen Weekend' was a shocking success. Apparently I am not the only one who still loves the comic/movie/everything. So, yay. Later today, I will be starting my Quotes Week, with Ozymandias quotes coming this afternoon. Watchmen makes everything better. And now I have proof.
Politics
* Blago love will never fade. It can't. Because I need to understand. I need to know what goes on in the swirling vortex of his mind. I need to understand why, when asked about the accusations against him, he answers, "Black care never catches a rider whose pace is fast enough." WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? He's sending secret messages to the aliens. I know it. And I don't even care, because everything Blago says is funny and bizarre, and we need this in our crazy, mixed-up world.
* Bill O'Reilly is threatening to flee New York, because he is afraid of catching The Gay, although 'threatening' is perhaps the wrong word. This is the Secret Liberal Plan: Frighten poor Bill O'Reilly until he is forced to move to somewhere safe, like Fiji, where he can write crappy crime novels with hysterical sex scenes forever, the end.
* Shit, it's been ten years since Columbine. Holy crap. I feel old. They shut down my school, and we had emergency meetings, and then some kid was ass enough to use the school website to send death threats, so we had security guys with GUNS, and the whole thing was scary. I was obsessed with the whole disaster in Columbine. I studied it like I was going to be graded, because I wanted to understand what had happened, and why, and how these things had come to pass. No luck. I still don't.
Comics
* Here is a book review for Comic Books 101: The History, Methods, and Madness by Scott Tipton and Chris Ryall. I covet this book. As much as I love comics, there is so much I don't know. It's so frustrating because there are so freaking many that need to be read, and so much history, and no matter how much time/energy I devote, I never catch up, because Real Life demands some attention. Anyway, this books looks like a good primer, and history is awesome especially as it pertains to comics.
* Oh, thank goodness, League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen has not fallen victim to The Suck. Not that I was worried, of course. Alan Moore would only make something suckish as punishment, to teach us a lesson. Yes, let's go with that. God damn, I need to get me to a comic store, stat.
Movies
* An official statement from the wonderful Corey Feldman, confirming that Lost Boys 3 is happening, and will blow everyone's mind with its awesome. Or its awful. I'm fine either way, really. As long as it exists, and Edgar Frog continues to be nutty and divine.
* I like Rose Byrne, although Damages makes me very nervous because everyone is so freaking mean and devious, and also I want her wardrobe, so I'd be too busy asking her where she shops to notice that she's PLOTTING MY MURDER. But she'll be in Russell Brand's movie, Get Him To The Greek, and I am fine with that. Is Mila Kunis going to be in it? Because I liked her in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, and she's dating Macauley Culkin, and Russell Brand makes jokes about that. Just wondering.
* Yes, in case you were wondering, Harry Potter & The Half-Blood Prince will probably get its own section at some point. I have many loves, and I justify NONE of them. It's getting released two days earlier (May 15th, in case you have been living under a rock), and as long as Snape is awful and sarcastic and vicious, I will be happy. But I still don't understand how the hell they wrangled a PG rating. DIDN'T THEY READ THE BOOK?!
Music
* David Lynch and Moby are the greatest crime-fighting, brain-exploding team alive.
DAW
I'm sure I'm the last person alive to see this video, but it warrants being shown over and over and over.... PANDA SNEEZES ARE THE BEST SNEEZES.
[Thanks to Arre for exposing me to this wonder]
WTF, INTERNET?
* I hate to admit it, but I kind of find these charming:
[Found at ISS]
In the right context, these are kind of adorable. If a guy wore these to a business meeting, I would love him. A wedding? Not so much. As long as the wearer could maintain that they were a joke, I'd be OK with them. But a guy who wears them without cracking a smile should probably be avoided at all costs.
* I, like everyone else on the planet, have a deep love and fear for ninjas. But this may be pushing it a wee bit:
[Found at LikeCool]
There are so many ways this could end badly. So, so many ways. It's funny in concept, obviously, but WHY would you exactly need to have a mask attached to your hoodie, unless you are doing covert shit all the time. I mean, Rorschach could have totally used this, but unless you're Bruce Wayne or Tony Stark, you probably don't need a mask as part of your daily ensemble. And I'm just waiting for some drunk idiot to run around with his mask up and get shot by the cops. That will be fun for NO ONE.
* Stop it, right fucking now:
[Found at i09]
[Found at i09]
WHAT IS GOING ON OUT THERE?! This is why people hate us (and by us, I mean women). I do not love boys who sparkle. I would never be ass enough to love a guy who goddamn SPARKLES, and treats me like a glass figurine, and is perfect and flawless and doesn't even fart and blah blah blah. This is unnecessary merchandise. NOBODY needs a board game. It's too bad I couldn't find a picture of that shirt that says, "Property of Edward Cullen," because there's NOTHING alarming about those implications.
* This is why our species is doomed.
[Found at LikeCool]
They look like Borg. Really lame Borg. Lame, drug-addicted Borg that like Pokemon. Christ, we are over.
* Yeah, I'm done.
[Found at LikeCool]
I have never, in this life, sat alone in a room and thought, 'Gee, I really need to look more piglike while drinking. That is clearly the way to attract quality men. Quality men with a pork fetish. I also need to purchase bacon lube. No wonder I can't find a nice guy.
Next post: Ozymandias' quotes, even though he RUINS EVERYTHING. So look for it later today.
- LV
* Well, 'Watchmen Weekend' was a shocking success. Apparently I am not the only one who still loves the comic/movie/everything. So, yay. Later today, I will be starting my Quotes Week, with Ozymandias quotes coming this afternoon. Watchmen makes everything better. And now I have proof.
Politics
* Blago love will never fade. It can't. Because I need to understand. I need to know what goes on in the swirling vortex of his mind. I need to understand why, when asked about the accusations against him, he answers, "Black care never catches a rider whose pace is fast enough." WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? He's sending secret messages to the aliens. I know it. And I don't even care, because everything Blago says is funny and bizarre, and we need this in our crazy, mixed-up world.
* Bill O'Reilly is threatening to flee New York, because he is afraid of catching The Gay, although 'threatening' is perhaps the wrong word. This is the Secret Liberal Plan: Frighten poor Bill O'Reilly until he is forced to move to somewhere safe, like Fiji, where he can write crappy crime novels with hysterical sex scenes forever, the end.
* Shit, it's been ten years since Columbine. Holy crap. I feel old. They shut down my school, and we had emergency meetings, and then some kid was ass enough to use the school website to send death threats, so we had security guys with GUNS, and the whole thing was scary. I was obsessed with the whole disaster in Columbine. I studied it like I was going to be graded, because I wanted to understand what had happened, and why, and how these things had come to pass. No luck. I still don't.
Comics
* Here is a book review for Comic Books 101: The History, Methods, and Madness by Scott Tipton and Chris Ryall. I covet this book. As much as I love comics, there is so much I don't know. It's so frustrating because there are so freaking many that need to be read, and so much history, and no matter how much time/energy I devote, I never catch up, because Real Life demands some attention. Anyway, this books looks like a good primer, and history is awesome especially as it pertains to comics.
* Oh, thank goodness, League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen has not fallen victim to The Suck. Not that I was worried, of course. Alan Moore would only make something suckish as punishment, to teach us a lesson. Yes, let's go with that. God damn, I need to get me to a comic store, stat.
Movies
* An official statement from the wonderful Corey Feldman, confirming that Lost Boys 3 is happening, and will blow everyone's mind with its awesome. Or its awful. I'm fine either way, really. As long as it exists, and Edgar Frog continues to be nutty and divine.
* I like Rose Byrne, although Damages makes me very nervous because everyone is so freaking mean and devious, and also I want her wardrobe, so I'd be too busy asking her where she shops to notice that she's PLOTTING MY MURDER. But she'll be in Russell Brand's movie, Get Him To The Greek, and I am fine with that. Is Mila Kunis going to be in it? Because I liked her in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, and she's dating Macauley Culkin, and Russell Brand makes jokes about that. Just wondering.
* Yes, in case you were wondering, Harry Potter & The Half-Blood Prince will probably get its own section at some point. I have many loves, and I justify NONE of them. It's getting released two days earlier (May 15th, in case you have been living under a rock), and as long as Snape is awful and sarcastic and vicious, I will be happy. But I still don't understand how the hell they wrangled a PG rating. DIDN'T THEY READ THE BOOK?!
Music
* David Lynch and Moby are the greatest crime-fighting, brain-exploding team alive.
DAW
I'm sure I'm the last person alive to see this video, but it warrants being shown over and over and over.... PANDA SNEEZES ARE THE BEST SNEEZES.
[Thanks to Arre for exposing me to this wonder]
WTF, INTERNET?
* I hate to admit it, but I kind of find these charming:
[Found at ISS]
In the right context, these are kind of adorable. If a guy wore these to a business meeting, I would love him. A wedding? Not so much. As long as the wearer could maintain that they were a joke, I'd be OK with them. But a guy who wears them without cracking a smile should probably be avoided at all costs.
* I, like everyone else on the planet, have a deep love and fear for ninjas. But this may be pushing it a wee bit:
[Found at LikeCool]
There are so many ways this could end badly. So, so many ways. It's funny in concept, obviously, but WHY would you exactly need to have a mask attached to your hoodie, unless you are doing covert shit all the time. I mean, Rorschach could have totally used this, but unless you're Bruce Wayne or Tony Stark, you probably don't need a mask as part of your daily ensemble. And I'm just waiting for some drunk idiot to run around with his mask up and get shot by the cops. That will be fun for NO ONE.
* Stop it, right fucking now:
[Found at i09]
[Found at i09]
WHAT IS GOING ON OUT THERE?! This is why people hate us (and by us, I mean women). I do not love boys who sparkle. I would never be ass enough to love a guy who goddamn SPARKLES, and treats me like a glass figurine, and is perfect and flawless and doesn't even fart and blah blah blah. This is unnecessary merchandise. NOBODY needs a board game. It's too bad I couldn't find a picture of that shirt that says, "Property of Edward Cullen," because there's NOTHING alarming about those implications.
* This is why our species is doomed.
[Found at LikeCool]
They look like Borg. Really lame Borg. Lame, drug-addicted Borg that like Pokemon. Christ, we are over.
* Yeah, I'm done.
[Found at LikeCool]
I have never, in this life, sat alone in a room and thought, 'Gee, I really need to look more piglike while drinking. That is clearly the way to attract quality men. Quality men with a pork fetish. I also need to purchase bacon lube. No wonder I can't find a nice guy.
Next post: Ozymandias' quotes, even though he RUINS EVERYTHING. So look for it later today.
- LV
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