Monday, April 27, 2009

Alan Moore Can Speak Braille.

Twitter
* This is an excellent and smart article on blogging other people's Tweets. And I'm posting it because it's Monday, and I have not ingested enough coffee yet.

* Larry King doesn't understand Twitter, or worse, he understands it far too well. Does it bother anyone else that his son is the same age as my brother, and that Larry King is the age of my grandparents, who are old as time? No? Well, OK then.

TV
* For all of you failures out there (like me) who have missed a few Dollhouse episodes, here is a link where you can legally watch all of them, during Dollhouse Week, which starts today. That was a horribly sentence. But yeah, episode one is up, and it's free, and they also have places you can purchase them, and Joss Whedon is one of the minor gods of the universe. So, you know, go watch.

Depression Session
* Hey, guess what?! Even more businesses are going to go under, and you are soon going to be eating your own toes for sustenance! Happy Monday!

* More bankrupt malls! And apparently it's all Abercrombie's fault, which I am fine with. Or stupid kids. Also fine with that. Abercrombie sucks, because the quality is shit and they play the music SO FREAKING LOUD that just walking by the store can cause a brain aneurysm.

Girly Shit
* This is all because of the recession, and the lack of monies, and my desperate need for new clothes that are pretty. Basically, I need this girl's wardrobe. I covet it. Except the shorts. Shorts in general are not things I like.
I go online, look at her website, curse her for having money to buy pretty clothes that are AWESOME, then go to work in the same jeans and Clash shirt I've been wearing for years, because I am BROKE (from comics and bills) and I must get by on charm and personality, but really I want people to love me for my CLOTHES:

[Found at NubbyTwiglet]
LOOK AT THOSE FREAKING BADASS BOOTS. I will kick everyone's ass with such boots of glory. Here's what I end up wearing:

I mean, I love my Converse, and my shirt is adorable, but this outfit FAILS to be edgy and hip. Oh, well. Times are tough.

Tattoo of Win

[Found at LolTaz]
This is one of the instances where the 'Win' in the title is NOT ironic. It's just awesome. And I usually hate foot tattoos. This tattoo is so great it has challenged all my preconceived notions of life and inking.

Books
* LibraryThing reformatted, and I'm not happy about it, so BookArmy may be my new addiction, because it's all books AND it's like Last.FM, which I adore, so WINS all around. Of course, then I remember I have no money for such vital things as books. Then I have to go away for a while and cry bitter tears. Anyway, add me if you want. If anyone's interested, let me know and I'll post my name.

* Guillermo Del Toro is writing a book series about VAMPIRES, and I am so fine with this. And his vampires are scary and vicious and evil. And he's awesome. So this is good news all around. Except that I can't finish MY vampire book, which is made of suck. It's tragic, really. But I can read his books and pretend I wrote them and that I'm talented, and everyone will be happy!

Food

[Found at Geekologie]
Those are cupcakes. Tiny cheeseburger cupcakes. Life is wonderful, sometimes.

Moment of Win
fail owned pwned pictures
see more pwn and owned pictures
[Found at FailBlog]
Is it wrong to secretly want this limo? I would live in it. Dude, imagine hitting the highway on that thing. EXTREME.

Zombies
* This hand-held weapon contains brass knuckles, a dagger, and a pistol. In short, perfect for close-range zombie fighting, or discount shopping in New Jersey HAHAHA... ehhh..... Although if you're this close to the zombies that you're PUNCHING them, you've pretty much screwed yourself already:

[Found at WorldsBestEver]

Celebrities
* If this is true, I will LAUGH AND LAUGH. It's OK to laugh at some celebrities, because they are rich and stupid and make awful movies, and I am none of these things, ergo WIN morally but lose economically. This is a Blind Item, and this person is guessing and I am posting their guess, NOTHING MORE, but how awesome would it be if Will Smith and Tom Cruise were in love? I don't know if this is true. I'm merely linking, so don't sue me. But, if it WERE true, I imagine the Love Lair would have lots and lots of mirrors. Just saying. I SUGGEST NOTHING. DO NOT SUE ME. I ONLY POST LINKS. See? Disclaimer. Totally legally binding.

WTF, INTERNET?
* Behold, MEAT BUSINESS CARDS:

[Found at Geekologie]
I want to send these to vegans. All the vegans. They use LASERS to burn messages into BEEF JERKY. I love beef jerky. I first ate it in the first grade, and was told it was what astronauts ate in space. I wanted to be an astronaut for about ten minutes, until I learned beef jerky is also available for those who simply love jerked beef. That sounded obscene. But I digress. Point is, fucking LASER MEAT THAT ADVERTISES STUFF.

* Let's file this under, 'Yeah, it's funny because you're 'shooting' the subject, but it will be a lot less funny when a cop BLOWS YOUR GODDAMN HEAD OFF.

[Found at LikeCool]
I know, I know, it looks more like a Star Trek phaser then a semi-automatic Death Machine, but you know what? If I was a cop, and it was late at night, and I heard some guy laughing and pointing a gun-shaped object at another person, I'd shoot first and ask questions later. This, among many other reasons, is probably why I am not ever allowed to be a police officer.

* We're going to end on a note that is scary as hell:

[Found at CrunchGear]
I will give you a moment to get the screaming out of your system. Done? Good. Now, pay attention: This is a phone. But no ordinary phone. It... well... here, let's let the inventors explain their own product:
Customers able to...
...send or receive kiss from distance,
...leave or receive a kiss in answering machine,
...repeat the kiss saved on the phone or
...relay it to other people,
...download or upload kiss in the web
...receive kiss from a kiss bank as the one from Madonna or from an imaginary Hero !

Yeah. So you can kiss people over the phone. Which means if these things go public, you will one day soon be sitting on the train/subway (if we still have those) and the person sitting next to you will be TONGUING their phone. Your phone will be SUCKING at your face. THINK ABOUT THIS. THERE IS NOTHING OK WITH THIS, AT ALL. Also, what if you are one of those unfortunate, slobbery kissers, and you electrocute yourself? These are questions I need answered.
- LV

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